


The Salvation of Castiel Novak

by butterflyslinky



Series: The Little Angels [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Domestic, Homophobia, M/M, Religious Fanaticism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:20:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29741409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: Dean and Cas have been together a year. But when familiar faces show up, they'll find how strong their love is.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Little Angels [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161065
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

Luck, as it turned out, was not something that was earned.

At least, that’s what Cas thought when he woke up one spring morning with Dean asleep on his chest. Of course, he’d woken up that way every morning for the last six months, and almost every morning for the six months before that. But today was different. Today marked an entire year since Dean and Cas had gone on their first date.

Cas couldn’t help but smile down at his partner. Partner. Someone who was with him, no matter what, sharing his joys and burdens, someone who loved him as he was and didn’t try to make him into anything else. Cas didn’t know what he had done to deserve it, but he was glad he had done it anyway.

He stayed there a few minutes, his hand absently petting over Dean’s shoulder, before he kissed Dean’s forehead and gently tried to move him.

Dean’s arm tightened around his waist. “Time is it?” Dean mumbled.

“Six-thirty,” Cas said. “I have to go see to the bees.”

“Mkay.” Dean rolled over off of Cas, still clearly asleep. Cas smiled to himself as he got up and dressed.

The last year had brought a lot of changes, but all of them had been good. Dean and Cas had moved in together, to a new, larger house with a very big yard, which Emma, Claire and Ben all appreciated. Meg had opted not to join them, and Cas had happily let her keep the small home he’d bought when he’d arrived. Of course, she still showed up almost every day, but Cas liked her being there and Dean tolerated her just fine.

And it wasn’t like Dean’s family wasn’t always in and out anyway. Sam brought Jack by almost every weekend, and Charlie could never go too long without walking in to get dating advice from Dean. And of course, Bobby and Ellen could hardly go two minutes without checking up on Dean and Cas and the girls. Cas might have found it stifling and overwhelming, but they were all very kind to him, had accepted him as a part of their family. And Cas...well, it had been a long time since he’d had any family worth having.

Cas headed out to the yard and checked his hive. Everything seemed well, and the bees greeted him happily. Cas smiled on them, feeling elation at the simple lives they led out here, knowing that he helped to maintain that life. He knew that he’d need to split the hive fairly soon; it had thrived over the last year, and Cas couldn’t justify keeping it this crowded much longer.

Once he was satisfied everything was in order, he went back inside to the kitchen and started cooking breakfast, humming cheerfully as he did. Everything today felt perfect and Cas was determined to keep that feeling going.

Emma and Claire came into the kitchen just as Cas finished. “Good morning, girls,” Cas said, handing them both plates.

“Morning, Cas,” Emma said. “Do you know where my math book is?’

“On the coffee table, where you left it,” Cas said. “Eat breakfast first.”

“Can we still go to Krissy’s for study group after practice?” Claire asked.

“Of course,” Cas said. “Just text me if you need a ride home.”

“Okay.” The girls ate breakfast quietly; neither of them were really morning people, though they were at least responsible enough to get themselves out of bed and ready to go in the mornings.

Dean finally appeared as the girls were finishing their breakfast, looking a bit grumpy as he always did this early. Cas just brought him his breakfast and kissed his cheek, not commenting on Dean’s mood. He wasn’t going to let anything spoil today.

“Leave your dishes,” Cas told the girls. “Finish getting ready.”

They nodded and headed off. Cas went to the sink to start washing, humming again.

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” Dean observed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Cas turned and smiled widely at Dean. “I’ve had an amazing year with you...and today’s a great memory.”

Dean blinked. “Oh, shit, is that today?” he said. “Cas, I’m so sorry, I lost track of time…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cas said. “The girls are going to the Chambers for study group after practice and I’ve already made dinner reservations.”

Dean smiled softly, shaking his head. “You’re amazing, Cas, you know that?”

“You keep telling me.” Cas went back to the dishes. “You don’t have to do anything,” he added. “It’s enough that you’re still here.”

There was a pause, then Dean’s arms were around Cas and Dean was nuzzling into his neck. “You do so much for me,” Dean said. “I should give something back.”

“You give plenty.” Cas turned around and kissed him deeply. “I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

Dean smiled and they kissed again, just enjoying each other’s embrace for a second.

“Daaaad!” Emma’s voice cut through their moment and they broke apart, laughing. Emma and Claire were both pouting a bit. “That’s so gross!”

“What?” Dean asked. “That we like to kiss each other sometimes?”

“That you do it in the kitchen!” Claire said. “I mean, we eat here!”

Dean rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. “I suppose that’s a consideration,” he said. “We’ll try to remember.” He stepped away from Cas. “Now come on, let’s get you two to school.”

“Bye, Cas!”

“I’ll see you all later.” Cas waved them off, leaning in the doorway to watch them go.

Yes. He was extremely lucky, whether he deserved it or not.

*

Dean’s mind was racing. How could he have forgotten? True, his first date with Cas hadn’t been anything extraordinary from an outside perspective, but it had been the third-best day of Dean’s life because it had been with Cas. And he hadn’t planned anything at all, just gone about his life and let Cas take on the burden of planning a perfect evening for them alone.

Bobby noticed Dean’s mood as soon as Dean got into the shop. “What’s eating you?” he asked.

“Cas,” Dean said. “No, not like that,” he added when Bobby opened his mouth again. “Only today’s our one-year and I forgot and didn’t do anything for him.”

Bobby stared at him for a moment before he gave an exasperated sigh. “Idjit,” he muttered. “How do you forget your own anniversary?”

Dean half-glared. “I’ve been busy,” he said. “And it’s Cas...he’s not even mad about it. Which just feels worse.”

“So buy him some flowers and spend the weekend making it up to him,” Bobby said. “I’ve booked a full day of practice on Saturday so the girls will be out of the house.”

“Right, right, championships are next weekend,” Dean muttered. “Which is another thing we’ll have to plan around.”

“Yeah,” Bobby said. “Cause if you miss that game, neither of those girls will ever talk to you again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said. “You know we won’t.”

“Good.” Bobby grabbed his clipboard. “Now let’s get to work, Garth’s off today and we’ve got a lot to get done.”

*

Cas was waiting when Dean got home, already dressed for an evening out. He smiled as Dean came in, and Dean felt even worse; he knew he smelled awful, all sweat and motor oil.

“I’d hug you, but I’d ruin your shirt,” Dean said. He did hold out the bouquet of lilies and roses he had picked up on the way home. “But happy anniversary, Cas.”

Cas smiled at him. “Dean, you didn’t have to…”

“Of course I did.” Dean smiled back, tears springing to his eyes. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me since Ben was born...and I never want you to think you aren’t important to me.”

“I don’t think that,” Cas said. “But thank you.” He took the flowers happily and found a vase. Or maybe it was one of his art pieces, Dean wasn’t sure. “Go clean up, we’ll need to go soon to make our reservation.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean smiled at Cas again as he headed down the hall. He didn’t know how he had held onto someone as wonderful as Cas for an entire year; if he didn’t know better, he’d think there had been some sort of divine intervention at play. 

Dean showered, and dressed carefully, pulling out his green dress shirt that Cas absolutely loved, combing his hair back, just trying to look as nice as he could without being too much. He stared into the mirror when he was done, trying to see anything out of place, and finally nodded in satisfaction. He took a breath and returned to the living room.

Cas smiled widely as soon as Dean appeared again. “You’re beautiful,” Cas said, coming over. 

“So are you.” They embraced and kissed once before pulling apart.

“We should get going,” Cas said. “Don’t want to be late...especially since the girls will need to be picked up.”

“Yeah.” Dean took Cas’s hand and they left the house, heading down to the Impala. As they drove to the nicest place in Sioux Falls, Dean reflected that life was absolutely perfect.

*

Cas was laughing when they got home that night. Dean pulled him into the house eagerly and kissed him there in the entryway. Cas kissed back, his arms around Dean’s neck, pulling him close.

They made out in the hall for a long time before Dean pulled away. “Everything still good?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” Cas said. “This is still okay.” He blushed a bit. “I might be okay with...a little more.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah...I trust you.”

Dean nodded and kissed him again before taking him down the hall to their bed. They kissed again as they fell back on it. Cas reached up almost at once, unbuttoning Dean’s shirt. Dean let him get it off before he reached down and started getting Cas’s off as well. They kissed again, and again, skin pressed to skin, and it was…

It was beautiful.

In the last year, this was as far as they had ever gotten. Cas knew that Dean probably wanted more, but even now, he couldn’t bring himself to give it. Something always stopped him from going any further, though he had at least gotten used to this enough that he was unlikely to go into a full on meltdown anymore. It had taken months to get there, and Cas knew he shouldn’t try anything more tonight…

Though it was hard not to want to the longer they went. Dean’s hands wandered, burning on his skin, and Cas did his best to match it, trying to press himself closer. “Dean,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” Dean murmured back. “I’m right here...this is where we belong.”

“I know,” Cas said. “I just wish I could give you what you want.”

Dean kissed him. “We’ve been over this,” he said. “I want you...however you come.”

“I know.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close. “But is it enough?”

“It’s more than enough.” Dean shifted, lying on his shoulder and started to rub circles into his chest. “This, right here? This is all I could ever want.”

“Dean…”

“After a year, you still don’t believe me?”

“I do,” Cas said. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am, Cas...so happy.” Dean leaned up and kissed him again. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Cas nodded, tracing the tattoo on Dean’s shoulder. It was a red handprint, and Dean had gotten it a few weeks before. Cas loved it. “I’m happy, too,” he said. “So very happy.”

“Good.” They kissed for several minutes before Cas’s phone buzzed.

“That’ll be the girls,” Cas said.

“Yep.” Dean sat up and looked around for his shirt. “You want me to go?”

“We can both go.” Cas pulled his own shirt on.

“You don’t need to…”

“I want to be next to you.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean smiled at him. “Let’s go, then.”


	2. Chapter 2

Cas wasn’t quite used to all the excitement that came with softball games. They were always loud, always crowded, and if Claire didn’t rely on him being there, he would avoid them all together.

Of course, it didn’t help that Dean was very, very invested in games. He had managed an entire season without being ejected, but it was always a close thing.

Still, they’d managed to work it out. They would hold hands throughout the game; Dean could keep Cas from a panic attack, and Cas could restrain Dean to a certain extent. They could get through the games, even enjoy them now.

The championship game shouldn’t have been any different. Sure, it was more crowded than ever, but Cas figured they could handle it. Especially since everyone else in their immediate family was also beside them, doing enough shouting that Cas didn’t feel the need to exert himself.

“I still don’t know why you do this to yourself,” Meg commented from Cas’s other side. “You could just ask me to film it.”

“It’s not the same.”

“You hate this.”

“It’s not the same for Claire.” 

“Right, right,” Meg said. “Because this is what being a real father is...going to all the games, being all supportive...never giving yourself a break.”

“It’s more than my father gave me,” Castiel said. “And it’s everything Jimmy gave her. And at the end of the day, I don’t want to be like my father.”

Meg nodded. “Suppose that’s fair. Still...are you going to do this through all of her high school games? Through college?”

“Let me worry about that later,” Cas said. “She might not even still be playing in college. Right now, I just have to sit through one last game and then I’m off the hook until February.”

“Unless she decides to do volleyball in the fall.”

“Please don’t make me think about sitting in a school gym.”

Meg laughed just as the game started. Dean shook his head. “She just cares, Cas.”

“Of course she does.” Cas shifted to stare straight ahead. “Now let's watch the game.”

The noise was incredible, the energy very high. Cas kept an almost iron grip on Dean’s hand throughout, and barely moved, though he did smile whenever Claire hit or caught the ball. It was very exciting, to be sure, and Cas was relieved when the Angels won the day and it was over.

The cheering was still raucous, more than ever, but Dean squeezed Cas’s hand. “You wanna go home?” he asked.

“After I’ve seen Claire.”

Dean nodded and stood up, tugging Cas gently with him. They headed down to the field, where Emma immediately threw herself into Dean’s arms.

“Dad, we won!” she said, tears in her eyes. “We finally got a championship!”

“Yeah, you did!” Dean hugged Emma very tight. “You girls were amazing out there.”

Claire came trotting over. She waited until Emma was done hugging Dean before she launched herself at him as well. Dean only laughed and hugged her just as tight. Cas appreciated that Dean was able to take all the hugging, because he knew he could not handle it.

“Can we go to Pizza Hut with the rest of the team? Please?” Emma begged.

“Sure thing,” Dean said. “Cas, do you want me to drop you off first?”

Cas shook his head. “I’ll ask Meg,” he said. “You go...have fun.”

“Okay.” Dean kissed Cas’s cheek. “Text me if you need anything.”

Cas forced a smile and turned, stumbling back toward the stands. Luckily, Meg was already waiting there for him. “Need a lift?” she asked.

“Dean’s taking the girls for dinner,” Cas said.

“Come on.” Meg offered her hand. Cas took it and let her lead him to her car.

*

“Uncle Dean, can’t you convince him not to do this anymore?”

Dean sighed, leaning on the formica table. “Wish I could, Claire, but he’s pretty determined to be there for you.”

Claire huffed in annoyance. “I know,” she said. “And I appreciate him trying. But it makes him miserable every time and then he’s anxious for days after. And...it’s not like I don’t have people up there cheering for me.”

“I know,” Dean said. “But Cas...he just wants to be a good guardian. And in his mind, that means doing everything you ask of him, even if it hurts him.”

“I don’t like it,” Claire said. “I mean...I like him being there for me, but it’s hard for him to keep doing that if he’s out of batteries.”

“I don’t know how to convince him of that,” Dean said. “Especially since he’s already convinced that he’s a terrible father to you.”

“Yeah, well,” Claire said. “I had a father. I don’t need Uncle Cas to be my dad. I just need him to be supportive without doing all of this. I mean...there are two of you, right? So he can be the quiet artist with the bees and you can be the soccer mom and we’ll all be happy.”

Dean snorted. “Okay, first off, I ain’t a soccer mom, whatever Sam tells you.”

“You so are. All that’s missing is the minivan.”

“Bobby!” Dean called. “If I ever consider buying a minivan, friggin’ shoot me!”

Bobby waved in acknowledgment without even pausing his conversation.

“Anyway,” Dean continued. “I don’t think Cas has quite accepted that this is long-term...that he can let go of some of the parenting duties sometimes. He still feels like he has to do it all just in case something happens.”

“But nothing’s going to happen,” Claire said.

“No,” Dean said. “Nothing will happen. This thing, with me and Cas...that’s going to be around for a very long time.”

Claire half-smiled. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

*

Dean had put the entire thing out of his mind a week later. Whatever issues Claire was having with Cas, they needed to work that out on their own. Dean tried to be a good second parent to her, but he really couldn’t justify interfering with Cas’s decisions about their family dynamic.

So Dean went about his life, thinking that would be the end of it. What he didn’t expect was for an old truck to pull up to the shop. A very familiar old truck.

Dean tensed instantly. “Bobby,” he called, a bit sharp.

Bobby slid out from under the car he was working on. “What, Dean, I’m busy.”

“He’s here.”

“Who…”

Bobby fell silent as John Winchester walked into the shop. Dean clenched his jaw, trying to resist throwing a punch immediately.

“John,” Bobby said. “Didn’t know you were in town.”

“Just passing through,” John said. “And wouldn’t you know it, the belt decided to give out. Figured it was kismet.” He smiled. “Hi, Dean.”

Dean nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Bobby gave him a warning look. “Can’t fix it yourself?” Bobby asked.

“Don’t have the part,” John said. “Hoped you might.”

“I can check,” Bobby said. “But you’ll have to get in line...we’re a bit short-staffed, as always.”

“I’ll do my own labor,” John said. “And pay for the part, if you let me keep it here.”

“S’pose I can do that.”

“Great.”

There was an awkward silence for a long moment before Bobby gave John a pointed look. “You just gonna hang around all day?”

“I was hoping to talk to Dean,” John said.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Dean snapped.

“Oh, come on, Dean.” John forced another smile. “What about Emma?”

“What about her?”

“How is she? What’s she up to now?”

“She’s fine...doing well in school and playing softball. Or was, they won the championship last week.”

“Yeah? That’s great, Dean...and what about Lisa and Ben?”

“Last I heard, Lisa’s fine. Ben’s talking about playing football next year.”

“That’s good...that’s real good. Didn’t think you’d be able to handle it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I know being a single dad is hard work, and hard work isn’t something you’ve ever been much good at.”

Dean and Bobby both glared at him. “Dean works plenty hard,” Bobby said. “I made him a full partner for a reason. And he’s great with the kids.”

“And I’m not doing it single anymore,” Dean said. “So you don’t have to worry about me screwing it all up.”

“Well, good,” John said. “How long has that been going on?”

“A year,” Dean said shortly. He glared at John for a moment before his phone, thankfully, buzzed. “Sorry, gotta take this.” He picked up and walked away. “Hey, Cas, what’s going on?”

“Dean, I need you to come home.” Cas sounded panicked, moreso than usual.

“What? Why?”

“Meg just texted...she spotted Chuck in town and...and…”

“I’ll be right there.” Dean hung up. “Bobby, I need to take off.”

“What’s going on?” Bobby asked.

“It’s Cas...I have to go home.” Dean grabbed his bag and left the shop, not pausing for any more explanation, and wondering how the hell this had happened.

*

Cas was in his art room, curled under his work table with his head down and coat on when Dean got there. Dean crouched next to him. “Cas?”

All he got was a whimper. Clearly, that one phone call had taken whatever energy Cas had left for words. Dean settled into a more comfortable sitting position and laid his hand on the floor in case Cas wanted to hold it. They stayed there, not speaking, the only sound Cas’s hitching breaths and sobs.

Dean closed his eyes, already exhausted. How? How had both of their asshole dads managed to show up in Sioux Falls at the same time? Okay, Dean almost believed John’s excuse of passing through; John made a point of “passing through” Sioux Falls every five or six years just to get Dean riled up. But as far as he’d know, Cas’s dad didn’t even know Cas lived in Sioux Falls.

Eventually, Cas reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand. Dean started rubbing soothing circles on the back, monitoring Cas’s breathing, listening as it evened out and Cas managed to stop crying.

“I can go get Claire,” Dean said. “And Emma...Baby’s all tuned up, if we leave now...we might be able to escape him.”

Cas uncurled a little. “Where would we go?” he whispered.

“Saint Paul? We can ask Gabriel to take us in…”

“He’ll follow us...and Gabriel won’t like us leading Chuck straight to him.”

“Storm Lake, then. Lisa’s there, she could help.”

“And then what?” Cas sat up, wiping his eyes with his free hand. “Dean...I can’t keep running forever...I can’t keep Claire running forever. It’s not fair to her. Jimmy wouldn’t want her to spend her life on the road.”

“Jimmy didn’t want Chuck to see her...I think he’d understand.”

“Then it’s not fair to you...your family is here. Your life is here...I can’t force you to leave that.”

Dean sighed. He wanted to deny it, say that he would happily leave them if it meant following Cas, but he couldn’t. Just the thought of leaving Sam…

“He hasn’t done anything yet,” Dean finally said. “He might not even know you’re here, just be here for some other reason. And even if he does know you’re in town, he doesn’t know where you live. And if he starts stalking any of us, I know Sheriff Mills would love to get involved.” He squeezed Cas’s hand. “So don’t worry...we can stay safe.”

“What about Claire?”

“Claire’s thirteen...she knows better than to go places with strange men. And even if she didn’t, would Chuck even recognize her?”

Cas thought a moment, then shook his head. “He’s never seen her,” he said carefully. “And she doesn’t look anything like Jimmy...I don’t think Chuck ever met Amelia.”

“There, see? So even if he does start hanging around the school like the creepy dick he is, he wouldn’t know which kid to follow.”

“He knows Meg.”

“Meg doesn’t live here...and she’s smart enough not to lead him here. And even if she does, I won’t let him in.” Dean raised Cas’s hand and kissed it. “I promise, I won’t let him anywhere near you...I’ll take time off work if I need to to make sure of it.”

Cas shook his head. “You don’t need to do that,” he said.

“I might anyway...my dad also rolled into town and he tends to hang around Bobby’s when he does that.”

“So...what? We just hole up here until they both decide to go away?”

“I can think of worse things.”

“Dean. That’s not sustainable.” Cas sighed heavily. “I can’t...I can’t let him get to me like this.”

“Cas, he abused you for years...of course you’re going to be afraid of him.”

“Yes...I’m afraid.” Cas uncurled more, forcing Dean to move so he could crawl out from under the table. “But I can’t let that fear rule me, or Claire.” He took a deep breath. “If he shows up…”

“If he shows up, I’ll deal with him,” Dean said. “And if I can’t handle him, I’ll call Bobby.”

Cas nodded. “Okay.” He moved right next to Dean and laid his head on his shoulder. Dean wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. “I trust you...to keep us safe.”

Dean buried a kiss in Cas’s hair. “I promise.”

*

Meg had always been good at running. It had been a necessary skill where she grew up, and she’d done her best to teach Cas how to do it as well.

So when she spotted Chuck Novak in town, she knew to be ready. A quick text to Cas, and then she just had to play it cool until she got confirmation that he was gone. It wasn’t anything unusual; it had worked the first time, and they’d gotten almost ten years before they were found again. And the last time, well, they’d still managed to buy an extra year, a year where Cas had found more allies who could help them this time.

Meg put her phone away just as Chuck spotted her. She put on a friendly smile, the type she used on her patients, and waited for him to come over to her.

“Meg,” Chuck said. “Been a while since I saw you.”

“For good reason,” Meg said. “What brings you all the way up here?”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but my ministry is expanding,” Chuck said. “We’ve got churches set up all over Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana...Missouri...and we’re working our way north to spread the good word.”

“Bet you are,” Meg muttered. “And Sioux Falls was your next target why?”

“It wasn’t, actually,” Chuck said. “We were setting up in Omaha...and then I saw something interesting.” He pulled a paper out of his coat. “You might not remember, but I do follow a lot of sports news...so imagine my surprise when I saw a name I knew in a town I hadn’t thought about.”

Meg took the paper. It was a printout from an online newspaper, declaring the Angels’ championship victory. Next to the article was a full team picture, with names underneath. Meg cursed internally, but looked up with innocence. “It’s a middle school girls’ softball team,” she said. “What’s so interesting about that?”

“Claire Novak,” Chuck said. “Not a very common name, is it? At least, that was my thinking...I would have thought it was a coincidence, but I came anyway...and here you are. Castiel’s girl...still living in sin, I assume. After so long...it’s touching to see you’re still loyal to him. Pity he didn’t learn anything from you about that.”

“Cas understands loyalty just fine,” Meg said. “At least, for people who deserve his loyalty.” She didn’t even pretend to smile anymore. “What do you want?”

“I just want to see them,” Chuck said. “Bury the hatchet...I know Castiel still resents a lot of what happened, but I hope that after so long, he understands why it was necessary. After all, if I hadn’t asked Naomi to cure him, he never would have taken up with you...and you love him so much. It would be a shame for you to have never had a chance with him. And I want to know my granddaughter...I know Jimmy wouldn’t ever speak to me, but he’s not here now. There’s no reason to keep Claire from me anymore.”

Meg lost any friendliness she had left. “There are plenty of reasons to keep Claire away from you,” she snapped. “And Cas doesn’t want to see you. So you can just pack up the ministry and go back to Chattanooga.”

Chuck’s friendly demeanor melted away at once. “I will see them,” he said. “I’m not leaving until I’ve spoken to them both. And if you try to stop me, I have ways to make your life very, very difficult.”

“Go ahead,” Meg said. “There’s nothing you can do to me that would hurt worse than betraying him.”

“Oh trust me...there are a lot of things.” Chuck smirked at her. “And he hasn’t done anything to earn your loyalty.”

“He didn’t need to earn it,” Meg said. “I just hate Fundies.” She flipped him off and walked away.

*

Sam was nice enough to pick the girls up from school; Cas didn’t want to leave the house until he’d heard more from Meg and Dean didn’t want to leave Cas.

Of course, that meant that Sam immediately sent the girls and Jack into the backyard with a stern warning not to bother any of the bees, and then set out to find Dean and Cas. They were still huddled on the art room floor. Cas had fallen asleep, now sitting in Dean’s lap, Dean holding him very close and petting his shoulder gently.

“Cozy,” Sam commented as he walked in. Cas started and woke up, looking terrified. 

Dean glared. “I just got him calm,” he said.

“Sorry.” Sam sat down in Cas’s chair facing them. “So what’s happening that you two are cuddling on a paint floor instead of in your bed?”

“It’s smaller in here,” Cas mumbled. “Feels safe.”

“Dad’s back in town,” Dean said. “And apparently Cas’s dad is here, too.”

Sam blinked. “I knew our dad was back,” he said. “He called me...but Cas’s dad is news.”

“Meg ran into him,” Dean said. “And he’s probably going to try and start shit.”

“What kind of shit?”

“He could try to take Claire,” Cas said. “I know the will was contested...I just left town before anyone could file anything.”

Sam nodded. “Possible,” he said. “Though he’d have to confirm where you actually live first, and then he’d have to file a lot of paperwork and involve social services before he could sue for custody. And if he does, you have all of Claire’s teachers, her friends’ parents, and the sheriff to testify that you haven’t stepped out of line once since you got here.”

Cas bit his lip. “What about when I...ran off to Saint Paul?”

“You were gone for less than twenty-four hours and Claire was with at least one responsible adult the entire time. And since no one but me, Dean, Charlie and Meg was ever told about the note you left, no one has any proof you intended to abandon her.”

“But...that note…”

“I’m pretty sure Meg burned it,” Dean said. “As soon as I let her know you were coming back.” He looked to Sam for confirmation.

“Legally, I didn’t see her do it,” Sam said. “But legally, I also never saw the note to begin with so I can’t confirm it really existed.” He gave Cas a pointed look. “And I don’t think anyone would bring it up.”

“Anyway,” Dean said. “You didn’t abandon her...you came back when you knew it was safe. I don’t think she even really knew you’d been gone.”

“She knew,” Cas said. “But she believes we had to go out of town on an emergency.”

“Exactly,” Sam said. “She wasn’t hurt, and you haven’t done a single thing wrong since. And you’ve always had another adult living in the house, so she’s never been in danger when you’re having a bad day, plus you have another half dozen people you can call in case of emergency. So you’re not doing this alone, you have good household income, and both Claire and Emma are healthy, doing well in school and not acting out. Legally, there’s not much they can do to you unless they have a lot of time and money to drag it out.”

“They do,” Cas said.

“Well, then, it’s a good thing I know people who will represent you pro bono,” Sam said. “If it comes to that. But right now, the best thing you can do is live your life and wait for him to make the wrong move. And guys like him...they always make the wrong move.”

Cas nodded. “Okay.” He uncurled a bit and grimaced. “...Dean, how bad does your back feel?”

“Pretty awful,” Dean said. “Let’s move to the couch.”

It took some doing for them both to get up. Sam shook his head at them but offered no help at all. Dean glared at him as they moved to the living room.

“So...Dad’s back,” Sam said once they’d resettled. Cas was still clinging to Dean, though he looked a lot better.

“Yep,” Dean said. “I made it clear that I’m not wanting him around.”

“Yeah, well.” Sam shifted. “He let me know the part he needs for the truck won’t be available for about six weeks. So...he’s going to be here a while.”

“Great,” Dean said. “He can stay at a crap motel, he likes that. Or if he wants an upgrade, he can live at your house.”

“Uh, no,” Sam said. “I’m not letting him be around Jack more than necessary. But, he did say he wants to take us for dinner.”

“Us? As in, you and me, us?”

“As in you, me, our kids, and someone named ‘Cassandra.’”

Dean blinked. “Does he think…?”

“Apparently, he heard the name Cas and concluded you meant a woman.”

“Yeah, sounds like him.” Dean rolled his eyes. “So what’d you tell him?”

“That I would try to clear my schedule.” Sam shrugged. “Though, with Charles Novak in town, that might be harder than expected. Might be too busy for the next six weeks to make it.”

“I’m so glad my family drama will help delay yours,” Cas muttered.

“Hey, I’ll take what I can get.”

They sat quietly for a moment, all thinking, before Cas’s phone rang. He pulled it out. “Yeah?”

Sam and Dean both sat up straighter. Cas stayed still, listening. “I’ll send Sam over. Go out the back, meet him in the alley. He’ll have my car...if you’re still being followed, call Sheriff Mills and take the backroads.” He hung up and reached into his pocket. “Sam, go get Meg, please. She’s being followed, either by Chuck or one of his followers.”

“Do my best.” Sam took the keys. “Keep an eye on Jack.”

“Of course.” Cas glanced at his phone. “It’s almost time for dinner anyway.”

“We’ll save your plates,” Dean added.

“Yeah, thanks.” Sam headed out.

Cas stretched and got up. “You cook, I’ll get the kids washed up?”

“Sure thing.” Dean got up as well and headed into the kitchen.

*

Meg looked absolutely wretched when she and Sam finally got back. It was late, and the kids had been sent to bed, or at least to their rooms to do homework. Cas pulled a plate out of the microwave, which she set upon immediately. Sam shook his head and sat down across from her.

“Did you shake ‘em?” Dean asked.

“Yeah...took a while, but they didn’t track us here.”

“Good.” Cas collapsed at the table. “So. What did you find out?”

“Not much,” Meg said. “He says he just wants to say sorry...go all family counseling...build a ministry here in town...the usual bullshit.”

Cas groaned. “Building a ministry...of course he is.”

“Wait, ministry?” Dean looked over from the counter in surprise. “I thought he was just garden variety dick, not influential dick.”

Cas and Meg exchanged a look. “When I was a child, he was just a preacher in Chattanooga...not a very popular one,” Cas said. “But when we all moved out...he started expanding.”

“Bad empty nest syndrome?” Dean asked.

“He still has five of his kids and a ton of grandkids in the neighborhood,” Meg said. “He just decided to take the crazy on the road because he thinks the world is sinful and needs to be cleaned. Plus the more followers he gets, the more money they throw at him.”

“He’ll be out preaching the Word of God in the town square by tomorrow morning,” Cas added. “No doubt telling everyone in Sioux Falls that we’re all going to burn for allowing gay people to exist and that all of our illnesses are punishments for having sex before marriage or whatever it is this week.”

“And Sioux Falls isn’t exactly a beacon of liberal acceptance,” Dean said. “So he might actually gather support.”

“And there’s no way to stop him,” Sam added. “He can preach whatever he wants as long as he’s not physically assaulting anyone or inciting a riot.” He set his plate aside and pulled out his laptop. “What’s his ministry called?”

“The Metatron Tablet Christian Ministry,” Meg said.

Sam nodded and typed it into Google, reading quickly. “Yeah, he sounds like a real dick,” he said.

“I told you,” Cas said. “So what do we do about it?”

“Unless he figures out where you live, nothing,” Sam said. “There are over a hundred thousand people in this town, it will take him a while. And even if he does find you, you don’t do anything to him, you don’t even speak to him without speaking to me first.”

“Are you really concerned we’ll do something illegal?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam said. “How’s the anger management going?”

Dean nodded. “Good point.”

Meg’s phone buzzed and she picked it up, smirking. “Well...it’s not all bad,” she said. “We have an asshole of our own coming in.”

Everyone turned to look at her. “What?” Cas said.

“My uncle just texted,” Meg said. “Confirming that he’s arriving from England in two days. And he might actually be helpful.”

*

Crowley glanced at the phone and sighed before picking it up. “Hallo, Meg.”

“Crowley.” She sounded annoyed, as usual when she had to talk to him. “I wonder if I might ask something of you.”

“You might,” Crowley said. “But what makes you think I’ll give it?” He swirled the whiskey in his glass thoughtfully. “You left the family, Meg...went off to be a nice little nurse with a nice little artist boytoy and told us all to get stuffed. Why on earth would I help you with anything?”

“Because,” Meg said. “It’s going to be a hell of a show.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows. “I’m listening.”

“Well...let’s take an emotionally abusive drunk, a fundamentalist nutjob, two innocent teenage girls and their adorable gay dads and see what happens.”

Crowley smiled. “I’ll be there in two days.”

“Say hi to Aunt Rowena for me.” 

Crowley hung up the phone and rang for a maid. “Pack my bags,” he said. “I’m headed back to America.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So let me get this straight,” Dean said. “You’ve known Meg for fifteen years, lived with her for ten of them, and you had no idea she has an uncle who lives in England?”

Cas shrugged, looking up from his book. “It didn’t seem very important,” he said.

Dean stared. “Have you even met her parents?”

“I...no,” Cas said. “She doesn’t talk about her family...and I know enough of what that’s like that I never asked.”

“But she’s met your family.”

“Once...I took her home for Christmas to prove I was straight. Chuck didn’t approve, of course...but it was enough that they stopped harassing me over being gay...and started harassing me over marrying her instead.”

Dean looked like he was considering that. “Well, guess you could do worse,” he said.

Cas was quiet for a moment, not looking at Dean. Dean blinked. “You didn’t…”

“She said no,” Cas said. “She knew I didn’t love her. Not really.”

“So you lived with her for ten years, proposed marriage, and you still never met her family?”

“Look, Dean. The first four years, we were in college and she was too determined to get her nursing degree to go home. Then the next five years were spent trying to survive on our own. And after that it didn’t occur to me that it was odd.”

Dean shook his head. “So you don’t know anything about this uncle except that he’s coming and Meg thinks he’s on our side.”

“Not a thing,” Cas said. “But given...how Meg is...he’ll probably be a very interesting character.”

“Yeah, cause that’s what we need. Another interesting character.”

*

“So who’s this uncle that’s coming?” Sam whispered into the darkness. By the time they had adjourned with Dean and Cas, it was very late, so Sam and Meg had opted to stay in the living room until morning. Meg had won the coin toss for the couch, though Sam didn’t mind much.

Meg sighed in exasperation. “Sam, I’m trying to sleep. So unless you’re going to come up with something more fun to do than talking about my uncle, save it.”

“More fun? What, you want to braid each other’s hair?”

“I had something better in mind…”

“No.”

“No because it’s me, or no because it’s Dean’s couch?”

“Meg, please.”

She laughed. “All right...Crowley is my dad’s brother...well. Foster-brother anyway, Aunt Rowena is a bit flighty. Anyway, she shipped Crowley off to her sister in America, who happened to be my grandmother. He grew up a douchebag, but a useful douchebag, then went back to England to either make his fortune or kill his mother, not sure which...succeeded at one, anyway.”

“What’s he do that he just flies to America on two-days notice?”

“He’s a travelling salesman.”

Sam laughed. “Really? In the twenty-first century?”

“Mhm.” Sam could practically hear Meg smirking. “He could sell water to a fish and be thanked for it.”

“And why did he suddenly decide to visit you?”

“Oh, you know...got nostalgic, wanted to come back to where he grew up…”

“...he grew up in Sioux Falls?”

Meg was quiet for a long moment.

“Meg, why did you ask him here?”

She sighed. “Because I can’t handle Chuck on my own,” she said. “I need to protect Cas from him, but there’s one of me against several dozen of them...and I hate admitting I need help, but I do...and Gabriel and Balthazar refused to get involved again, so...I had to look to my own family.”

“You know we’ll help you...me and Dean and everyone...we’re your family, too. And we all want to protect Cas.”

“I know you do, but…” Meg hesitated. “This conversation didn’t happen.”

“Understood.”

“If things get desperate, and we need to take drastic measures, I’ll need someone who’s okay with that.”

“And this Crowley guy will.”

“Without hesitation.”

“Then I suggest you not let me talk to him too often.”

“I plan to keep him at home unless he’s needed.”

“Good.” Sam rolled over to sleep.

“Sam?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t tell Cas...I don’t want him to think I think he’s weak.”

“I wasn’t planning to tell him...if he wonders about it, he can ask you about it.”

“Okay...thank you.”

“Good night, Meg.”

“Night, Sam.”

*

Dean didn’t know what he expected Meg’s uncle to be like, but he certainly wasn’t expecting the short, slightly plump man in a suit who came with Meg that weekend.

“Uncle, Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak...Dean, Cas, this is my uncle, Fergus Crowley-McLeod.” 

“And if you call me Fergus, you’re going to regret it,” Crowley said. He looked them over appraisingly. “Hm...yes, I can see why Meg likes you. You really are the lost puppy type.”

“Um...thank you?” Cas looked helplessly at Dean.

“Girls here?” Meg asked.

“They’re upstairs,” Dean said. “Doing their homework...I can get them…”

“No, thank you,” Crowley said. “You two are quite enough for now.” He sat down on the couch without waiting to be asked. “So...Meg tells me that you’re both having...daddy issues?”

Dean sat down in the chair across from Crowley, feeling very wrong-footed. “If she means our dads are in town and we have issues with that, yes,” he said. “But I don’t know what you plan to do about it.”

“Well, I have some ideas,” Crowley said. “Counter-protests...pride parades...maybe slash a few tires...that doesn’t work, I have more. Haven’t decided yet how much of my neck I’m going to stick out for you.”

“We want to retain custody of our daughters,” Dean said. “So maybe less of the illegal activity when we’re around.”

“Well, you’re just no fun.” Crowley looked Dean over again. “Shame...if you weren’t infatuated with the angel over there, I’d take you out for a drink or two.”

“Nah,” Dean said. “I don’t drink. Or date old men.”

“Pity. The ones with daddy issues usually like me.”

“Crowley,” Meg said sharply.

“Right, right.” Crowley winked at Dean, who rolled his eyes.

Cas glanced around, looking very confused and helpless. Dean held out his hand and pulled Cas down into his lap. “So...what can we do to get you to help?” Cas asked.

“Well...that depends.”

“On what?” Dean asked.

“What I get out of it...how much I like you...and if I feel like helping. Two of those things are in your control. So don’t waste my time, and I won’t waste yours.” Crowley sat back a bit more. “Meg, darling, is there any Scotch in this house?”

“No,” Meg said. “I left it back at mine.”

“Damn.” Crowley shook his head. “Well, best just do it sober, then...so Castiel. Tell me about yourself, and why Meg’s still so devoted to you.”

Cas looked between Meg and Dean, clearly alarmed. “Um…”

“Oh, don’t be shy.” Crowley smirked. “She left her family behind for you...I want to know what sort of man is so...worthy.”

“I...don’t know.” Cas was looking more uncomfortable by the moment.

“Uncle, don’t do this,” Meg said. “Not now.”

“When, then?” Crowley asked. “You’ve never explained leaving, I thought I’d get right to the reason.”

Dean shook his head. “Jeez, you’re talking like you’re part of the Scottish Mafia or something.”

There was silence for a moment as Meg and Crowley both looked at him. Dean blinked. “Wait…”

“You’re right,” Crowley said. “We’ll do this later.”

“I’m...going to go make dinner.” Cas jumped up and scurried into the kitchen.

“And that’s my cue to get the girls.” Dean got up and left as well. As he passed Cas, he muttered, “I think we know why Meg doesn’t talk about her family.”

Cas nodded. “Agreed.”

*

And then...silence. An entire weekend of blissful, peaceful silence.

Cas knew it wasn’t going to last. In spite of the peace, there was a lot of tension. Even Emma and Claire noticed, and they hadn’t been told anything that was happening yet. Cas debated whether they ever should be. He knew that keeping secrets from them wasn’t the best idea, but the idea of telling them wasn’t very appealing.

Dean considered Cas carefully when he brought it up. “Emma’s gonna find out her grandpa’s here,” he said. “That never stays secret for very long. He’s...generally okay with her and Ben, probably because they never spend more than a week or two with him every five or six years. He buys them presents, takes them to a baseball game, and I don’t let him talk to them more than necessary.”

Cas nodded. “All right...what about…”

“I don’t see why they need to know anything,” Dean said. “We’re not going to engage with him, so we don’t need to tell them about it.”

“Claire should be warned,” Cas said. “If Chuck gets to her and I’m not there…”

“There aren’t many times she isn’t around someone who knows her,” Dean said. “And none of them would let her just...go off with a strange man.”

“But he can prove he’s her grandfather…”

“She doesn’t know him. I don’t think too many adults are going to take kindly to a guy trying to take a girl who’s screaming that she doesn’t know him.”

“Claire’s not really the screaming type.”

“Good point. She’s more likely to hit him with her softball bat. Either way, no responsible adult would let him take her.”

Cas nodded. “Okay…okay.” He glanced out the window. “You want to come with me next weekend?”

“To the farmer’s market?” Dean looked out the window at the bees. “Sure, why not. Sam keeps telling me to eat more vegetables.”

“Great. It helps. To have someone to run the stand with me.”

“And it’s safer?”

“Yes.” Cas stared straight ahead. “Much safer.”

*

Dean hadn’t thought that he’d ever like living the hippie-dippie lifestyle Cas had, but he had to admit, it had a few perks. For one, Cas always looked gorgeous, covered in paint or dirt or whatever he’d been working with that day when Dean got home. For another thing, the art Cas produced was always awe-inspiring, and that was for Dean, who didn’t even like modern art normally.

But the best part about it was Cas’s bees, which produced a lot of honey, and his garden, which bore quite a lot of produce. Dean wasn’t much of a fruit and vegetable kind of guy; he’d tried, being a single dad, but everything he’d ever served Emma was either canned, frozen or forced on him by Sam. Now, though...now, Cas did everything he could to make sure they had a steady supply of fresh food on the table, and Dean found he was actually grateful for it.

It didn’t hurt that watching Cas in the garden was probably Dean’s favorite activity (well, his favorite activity that didn’t involve Cas in bed). Out there, surrounded by their actual white picket fence, among his bees and flowers, Cas always looked so peaceful. So happy, like he was where he was meant to be, doing the work he always wanted to do. Dean had never been an early riser, but sometimes, it was worth the headache to get up early on his day off and sip coffee in the kitchen while watching Cas out the window. Especially on sunny spring mornings like this, when Cas would be outside for hours, occasionally letting a bee land on his hand. Dean had never quite gotten used to it, but he had to admit, the fat, fuzzy honey bees Cas kept were a lot less scary than the sleek little monsters Dean had hated as a child.

Cas looked up at the window and smiled right at Dean, his full, glorious smile, blue eyes shining in the sunlight. Dean smiled and went out to the porch, keeping a safe distance since he was in his sweatpants and robe. “They all happy today?” Dean asked.

“Very happy,” Cas said. “And they’re pollinating heavily.” He raised his hand, where one curious little bee was crawling. “They lead such simple lives.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “I guess they have a pretty easy time of it...fly out, find food, fly back, make more food. Kind of like us, really, only without complications.”

“Complications make life worthwhile for us,” Cas said. “But it would only hinder them.” He watched the bee on his hand for a moment before lowering it down to a flower. Dean leaned on the porch rail, hoping that the bees wouldn’t take interest in his coffee.

“You want me to get dressed and help with anything?” Dean asked.

“Thank you, Dean, but I have this.” Cas smiled up at him, clearly not upset about anything. “Besides, Lisa will be arriving with Ben soon...weren’t you planning to take the kids to minigolf?”

“Right, yes.” Dean closed his eyes a moment; in all the excitement of the last week, he had almost forgotten. “You sure you don’t want to join us?”

“Quite,” Cas said. “I have a lot of work to get done before next weekend, and I do it better if I can work alone.”

“Okay,” Dean said. He stayed there another five minutes, sipping his coffee, enjoying the morning before he heard the sound of a car horn. “Time to rally the troops.”

Cas got up and went over, leaning up to kiss Dean on the cheek. “Have fun,” he said. “Try to be home for dinner.”

“Sure thing.” Dean kissed Cas on the lips before he turned and headed back in the house to let Ben in and get ready for the day.

*

Cas was proud of his work. His art, and his garden, and his bees. Sure, none of it brought in a lot of money, but Dean’s job paid well enough and Cas still had some inheritance money left; his years in Omaha had been a bit insane, seeing as they involved Meg, but he hadn’t managed to squander everything. Cas had offered, when they were planning to move in together, to get a real job, but Dean told him he didn’t need to. Apparently, he’d had Charlie and Ellen run the numbers and they were just fine to pay their bills on their current income level.

Still, he liked feeling like he was contributing, so Cas put all of his effort into his gardening and his bees. He provided food for his family, and sold honey and sometimes art on the weekends, and that was enough for him, and for Dean. Cas had purpose, and he had found an occupation that brought him peace.

He was just about finished with the morning’s work when he heard someone knocking at the front door. Cas frowned; he wasn’t expecting anyone, and he had a feeling it wasn’t someone he wanted to see, since anyone who knew him at all would know he was always out back at this time. Cas headed around through the gate, trying to look normal and not like he was ready to bolt.

He didn’t recognize the man at the door. This man was a bit past middle-aged, with a three-day growth of beard and a haggard expression. Cas didn’t think he was part of the Metatron Tablet Christian Ministry, though he couldn’t be sure. The MTCM did recruit a lot of desperate-looking people.

“Can I help you?” Cas asked, hoping this guy was just looking for directions.

The man turned and frowned. “Oh...sorry, I think I have the wrong house.”

Cas was more confused. “Who are you looking for?”

“I’m here to see Dean Winchester.”

Oh. This must be John, then. Cas felt his heart rate spike, but he managed to keep his expression under control. “No, you have the right house...Dean’s just not here right now.”

“Oh.” John looked more puzzled. “I didn’t realize he hired a gardener now.”

Cas suddenly remembered what Sam had said, that John had assumed that Dean’s new lover was a woman. Cas debated for a moment, but then remembered he had always been a bad liar and it would be better to just clear things up now. “No,” Cas said. “I’m Cas...Castiel Novak. Dean’s boyfriend.”

John stared at him for a long moment. Cas grew very hot under the scrutiny. He had heard enough about John Winchester to know that he was not going to pass inspection. Cas was suddenly conscious of his dirt-stained jeans and shirt, and he pulled his gardening gloves off quickly.

Finally, John nodded. “Castiel, then,” he said. “I’m John...Dean’s father.”

“I figured,” Cas said. “He said you were in town.” He very quickly ran through the social script for interactions like this and came up empty. “But he’s not home.”

“What about Emma?”

“Dean took the kids out today...it’s his weekend with Ben, they wanted to do something fun.”

“I see.” John shifted a bit. “Any idea when he’ll be back?”

“Before dinner.” Cas knew he was losing control of the conversation, but Dean had made it clear that he didn’t want to see John. “And if you don’t mind, I have work to get done...the farmers market opens next weekend and I have to get twelve dozen jars of honey to prepare before that.”

“Oh, don’t let me stop you,” John said. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Cas considered for a moment. He had a feeling that John wouldn’t go away; even if Cas didn’t let him in the house, he’d probably just wait outside until Dean got back. At least if Cas kept John in sight, he’d know what John was doing. “I could use someone to label jars,” he said reluctantly.

“Sounds great.”

Cas led John into the house and set him up with two hundred jars and labels. John seemed perfectly happy to do the work he was given, though Cas couldn’t think why. And it wasn’t like Cas actually needed the help; normally, Claire and Emma did the labels while watching TV since it wasn’t a difficult task. Still, it kept John in the kitchen, so Cas just fired off a quick text to Dean warning him before he went to start heating up the honey he’d already collected.

“So is this what you do?” John asked. “Keep bees?”

“Part of it,” Cas said. “The part that actually makes money, anyway.”

“What’s the other part?”

“I keep a garden...tomatoes and strawberries, mostly, and you probably saw the mulberry trees...I sell jam in the summer, but it’s too early for it right now. And I also do art, but that doesn’t sell up here.”

John paused, staring. “And you’re dating Dean?” He sounded disbelieving.

“Yes,” Cas said. “We’ve been together a year, and living together six months.”

John shook his head a bit. “Who would have thought,” he muttered.

Cas turned, eyebrows raised. “Thought what?”

“Nothing,” John said. “Just...you don’t really seem like his type.” He went back to the labeling. “How’d you meet, anyway?”

“My niece is on Emma’s softball team...we met picking them up from practice.”

“I see...your family all live around here?”

Cas’s stomach twinged. “No,” he said. “Just me and Claire...her parents died last year so…” He gestured vaguely. “The rest of them live back east.”

John actually looked...sympathetic. “It’s hard,” he said. “Being a single dad.”

“Yeah, well,” Cas said. “I only had to do that for about four months before I met Dean. And he’s good at it.”

John didn’t look like he believed that but didn’t comment. “And you’re okay? With...everything about Dean?”

Cas turned, looking right at John. “Dean is a good man,” he said. “I know he has a rough past, but it doesn’t affect us now. He’s good to my niece, and to his kids, and to me.” He smiled a bit. “He’s been more than good to me.”

“Lisa said the same thing,” John said. “Before she left him.”

“Lisa’s a friend,” Cas said. “To me and Dean. Whatever happened...they’re okay.”

“Not the way I saw it,” John said. “Sure, I wasn’t there for all of it, but I know Dean...I know how that must have gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dean...he’s a drifter. It took him years to settle here, and even now he’d rather jump in that car of his and drive off somewhere new. Only reason he’s still here is because of Emma. Soon as she grows up, he’ll be gone...and I don’t think there’s anyone on earth who can stop him.” John shook his head. “And if you try to tie him down...well. I’m sure you’ve heard about his temper.”

Cas swallowed. “He promised...he promised he wouldn’t leave.”

“He probably meant it. For now. But I’ve known Dean his whole life. He’ll never be happy sitting still.”

Cas stared at the wall, trying to puzzle out what was happening. “Are you...trying to get me to leave him?”

“No,” John said quickly. “I’m just warning you to be careful with him.”

Cas nodded slowly. “I’m very careful with Dean,” he said. “Always.”

“That’s good to know.”

Cas went back to his honey, silent now. John finished with the labels. “Well?” he asked. “Do I pass inspection?”

Cas looked over the jars. “They’re very straight,” he said. “Thank you for your help.”

Thankfully, the front door opened right then and the sounds of Dean and the kids very quickly filled the house. “Keep an eye on this,” Cas said, and headed out to the hall.

Dean already looked stressed, no doubt between having three kids all day and getting Cas’s text. Cas gave him a harried look. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s fine,” Dean said. “Still here?”

“In the kitchen...I put him in charge of making sure my honey doesn’t boil over for the moment.” Cas paused a moment. “He’s...very interesting.”

“That’s one word for it,” Dean muttered. “Okay, kids, go say hi to Grandpa and decide what we’re getting for dinner.”

Emma and Ben scampered off at once. Claire hung back, a bit confused.

“I can cook,” Cas protested.

“You have a full hive of honey cooking, we shouldn’t interrupt that.”

Cas considered a moment, then sighed. “Yeah, you’re right...come on, Claire. Let’s get that out of the warmer.”

The kitchen was very noisy when Dean and Cas got back in. Emma and Ben were chattering away, giving John the last five years of updates. Claire approached cautiously, very unsure.

“Claire, this is my dad, John,” Dean said. “Dad, this is Cas’s niece Claire.”

“Hi, Claire,” John said. “Glad to meet you.”

“Hi.” Claire still looked very uncertain. 

Dean tossed a stack of menus on the table. “Everyone agree on food, please.”

The conversation that broke out was loud and heated and Cas could not deal with it. “Dean, can you take the honey off? I need to go lie down.”

“Yeah, of course.” Dean kissed Cas’s cheek. “You want me to order for you?”

“I’ll get something later.” Cas gave a small smile around the kitchen. “Good night.”

“Night, Uncle Cas.”

Cas fled the kitchen, heading upstairs. That was definitely too much people-ing for one day.

*

By the time the kids went to bed, Dean had a headache pounding in his forehead. He hadn’t spent so much time around his dad in years, and for the first time he was rethinking his sobriety.

“So,” John said. He somehow hadn’t gotten the hint to leave and was still sitting at the table, drinking coffee. “Castiel.”

“Yeah?” Dean said. “What about him?”

“He’s...not what I expected.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Oh, right. You were expecting some tall, leggy girl who belongs in Cosmopolitan.” 

“That does seem more your type.”

“I’ve dated men before, Dad. You met some of them.”

“Yeah, but they were...different.”

“Different how?”

“More...you know...manly. Real men. Not art twinks who keep bees.”

Dean put his coffee down slowly. “I see.” He was silent for a long moment. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

“Dean, I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah, you did.” Dean turned, his face a hard mask. “Now you listen to me. You say what you want about me, I’m used to it. But you leave Cas out of it.”

John shook his head. “I’ve got nothing against him,” he said. “He’s just...not the sort you normally like. All hippie and shy and weird...it’s not your kind of life. I mean, what do you even have in common?”

“We’re single dads who had shitty childhoods,” Dean said. “And maybe I’m never going to be Better Homes and Gardens, but I appreciate what Cas does for us. And he’s never going to be Today’s Auto Mechanics, but he’s learned to love riding shotgun when I take Baby somewhere. And no, he’s nothing like the other men I’ve dated, but I think that’s a good thing, cause all those guys sucked.”

“You named your son after one of them.”

“Yeah, the one who freakin’ died. And you hated him, too.”

“He was an unemployed drifter fresh out of the Navy. But at least I understood what you saw in him.”

“What I saw in him?” Dean was full-on glaring now, and it was only the knowledge that Cas might hear them that kept him from shouting. “And what’s wrong with Cas that you don’t think I see anything in him?”

“Come on, Dean...if you want a wife, find a wife. If you want a man, find a man. Don’t settle for this...in-between sort of thing.”

Dean stood up. “You should go.”

“Dean…”

“I said, leave.”

John nodded and stood up. He grabbed his coat and left the house, Dean glaring at his back until the door finally closed. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and headed upstairs.

Cas was still awake, reading in bed. He looked up as Dean got in. “Are you all right?”

“Been better.” Dean sat down heavily on the bed, eyes closed.

Cas set his book aside and moved so he was behind Dean, hugging him. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have let him in.”

“Nah, you were right,” Dean said. “He wasn’t going to leave until he’d come in and twisted the knife a little more. Least this way we get it over with and maybe he’ll leave me alone for the next five weeks.”

Cas shook his head. “You promised not to let me engage with my dad...I should do the same for you.”

“It’s not the same,” Dean said. “Like...yeah, your dad, we avoid at all costs. Mine…” He shrugged. “Mine’s too ingrained in my family to cut off completely...and he doesn’t bother me too much.”

“He hurt you...and he keeps hurting you. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”

Dean turned his head and kissed Cas. “You’re not,” he assured him. “If he didn’t come here, he’d just keep showing up at the shop or find me at Sam’s or just ambush me somewhere else. At least in my house, I can make him leave.”

“I guess.” Cas hugged him tighter, nuzzling his neck a bit. “I’m sorry anyway.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it...I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay.” Cas kissed his cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean leaned back in Cas’s embrace, closing his eyes and letting himself be held. “Nah,” he said. “Wasn’t anything important...just the usual douchebaggery.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t even that big a lie. Enough people had hurt Cas; Dean wasn’t going to let John be one of them.


	4. Chapter 4

The first weekend of the farmer’s market was always an event in Sioux Falls. Or at least, it was an event to Cas; Dean hadn’t even known there was a farmers market before he’d met Cas. Still, it was always a big day for them, so Dean happily drove down early in the morning with Cas, Emma and Claire to help set up. It was a beautiful day, all sunny but not hot, the perfect day to be out in a booth selling honey.

“Okay, girls,” Dean said once they were finished getting ready. “Here’s some money, don’t leave the market, and meet us back here at noon, okay?”

“Okay.” The girls happily took their money and scampered off, no doubt to meet with friends or just pick up baked goods for breakfast.

Cas watched them go with a worried expression. “You sure that’s wise?” he asked.

“Come on, Cas. They’re thirteen, not three, and there’s two of them. And they’re kids, they should run around and have fun instead of standing here working all morning.”

“All right.” Cas still looked worried, though, and Dean sighed.

“Cas. There are at least a hundred people here, and Emma and Claire know enough of them to ask for help. Nothing is going to happen.”

“Okay...okay.”

Dean kissed Cas on the cheek. “Hey. We’re all okay.”

Cas nodded as the first customers of the day approached, and put on a smile to get to work.

It was a pretty good day; half the jars were sold in the first hour, and Dean was starting to relax into the work. He and Cas honestly made a pretty good team; Dean could talk and charm anyone who came by into buying while Cas could answer any of the technical questions people had.

It was nearing eleven when Meg showed up with Crowley, the two of them looking extremely out of place in dark, expensive clothing. “Morning, boys,” Meg said, wandering over.

“Morning, Meg.” Dean gave them a small smile. “Crowley.”

“Dean.” Crowley picked up a jar and started examining it. “You boys have been very busy, I see.”

“Cas has, anyway,” Dean said. “The bees like him better.”

“I don’t think the bees have any personal feelings about us,” Cas said.

Dean and Meg barely managed to hide their smiles. Crowley just looked baffled and looked at Meg. “This is really what you left the family for?”

Meg rolled her eyes. “I left the family for a lot of things, Cas was just part of the package.”

“Right, the little packet marked do not eat that normally gets thrown out with the box.”

“Watch it,” Dean said.

“Anyway,” Meg said, leaning over and lowering her voice. “We did spot the MTCM just outside...they’re mostly just passing out pamphlets for a rally later on. Don’t know if they’ll be allowed to do it in here, but I thought I’d warn you.”

“Thanks,” Cas said. “We’ll take the backroads out.”

“Do you want to pack up?” Dean asked.

“No,” Cas said. “I’ve still got two dozen jars to sell and another hour to do it in...as long as the preaching doesn’t start until after noon, we should be fine.”

“Even if it does start sooner, we can cause a distraction,” Crowley said. “Street preachers love to argue with hecklers.”

“You were going to heckle them anyway,” Meg pointed out.

“Well, yes, but I need to decide if I’m going to use the petty insults or actual theology. Seems a waste of hard research to do the latter when it isn’t necessary.”

“I don’t care what you use,” Dean said. “Just make sure we have time to find the girls and get out of here.”

“Do my best.” Crowley smirked a bit. “Though what do I get out of it? Besides the chance to annoy a minister?”

Cas handed him a jar of honey. “I hope that’s adequate payment.”

“Much obliged.” Crowley tucked the jar into his coat. “I can guarantee you ten minutes. Maybe more if he’s an argumentative sort.”

“He is.”

“Excellent. This sounds like a wonderful afternoon.” Crowley turned back to Meg. “Now, my darling, I believe there was someone selling wine up the way and I will need a drink before the show starts.”

“Make sure Sheriff Mills doesn’t see you,” Dean called. “She’s strict about open containers.”

Crowley waved in acknowledgment as he walked off. Meg shrugged and followed him.

“You sure you don’t want to leave?” Dean asked once they were gone. “Honey will keep until next week.”

“And what happens if they’re still here next week?” Cas asked. “I won’t be able to afford this hobby if I have to pack up an hour early every week for the next five months...and I certainly can’t afford it if we stop selling altogether.”

“Okay.” Dean glanced around. “Let’s just hope we can sell out quickly.”

*

They were down to their last ten jars when Cas suddenly tensed. Dean looked up and cursed. A soapbox had been set up, and a man was stepping up on it. “We should go,” Dean muttered.

Cas nodded, but didn’t move. He stood there, shaking, breathing fast. Dean caught his hand. “Hey. I’m right here.” He glanced at the man--Chuck, he assumed. “We can go home.”

Cas didn’t seem capable of moving. Dean sighed and very carefully started packing up, keeping an eye on Chuck while also trying to spot the girls.

“Friends!” Chuck called. “Citizens! Brothers and sisters! I bring good news!”

“Yeah, I’m sure you do,” Dean muttered.

“The Lord has heard your laments, and He has seen your suffering! He is sympathetic! He wishes to help you, but only if you help Him!”

Dean looked back at Cas. Cas was leaning on the shelf of their booth, pale and looking so, so scared. Dean was torn between jumping up to punch Chuck and calming Cas down.

“He has seen the suffering, but He has also seen the sin! The sin you allow, the uncleanliness that even now permeates His Earth!” Chuck looked around the assembly and pointed right at Dean and Cas. “There, you see the sinners, pretending they are true!”

“No…” Cas gasped. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, not even caring.

“Cas,” he said. “Cas, focus on me.”

“He’s right,” Cas whispered.

“No,” Dean said. “This isn’t wrong. This is never wrong.”

“The sinful ones will bring ruin on you all! Turn away from them! Turn back to His Grace!”

“Oh yeah?” Crowley stepped forward out of the crowd, very calm and casual, but it did take Chuck’s eyes off Dean and Cas. “And why should we listen to you?” Crowley raised an eyebrow. “How does anyone know you speak to God?”

“I have heard Him,” Chuck said. “You may not believe, brother, but I do hear Him. He tells me the Way, and I have come to share it with you.”

Dean took the opportunity to finish packing everything up. “Cas, take this and get to the car,” he said, his voice firm.

“Dean…”

“I have to find the girls.” Dean looked around desperately.

Meg managed to pull away from the crowd. “I’ve got him.” She took the box with their leftover wares in one hand and Cas’s hand in the other. “Get the girls.”

Dean nodded. Meg pulled Cas away from the market. Thankfully, he seemed to follow her by instinct. Dean skirted the edge of the assembled crowd, trying to spot Claire and Emma anywhere.

“Your Way says that we’re supposed to hate people for no reason,” Crowley called. “Tell me, what did those nice boys do to you?”

“I know their sins! Disloyalty, to God and the world! Promiscuity! Sodomy!”

“They were minding their own business!”

Dean tried to tune them out, looking around more desperately.

“Dad!”

Dean turned as Emma and Claire came running up the path. Emma threw herself on Dean, clinging to him. Dean hugged her, breathing a sigh of relief. “Come on,” he said. “We’re going home.”

Claire grabbed at Dean. “Uncle Cas?”

“Meg took him to the car,” Dean said. “We need to get out of here.”

Both girls nodded and followed Dean out of the market to the car. Meg was leaning on the door, looking pale but calm.

“Sedatives are in the glove compartment,” she said. “And if he won’t take them, I put some...alternative medicine in his coat that he might respond to better.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Look, it got him through three years of retail, it’s probably a better idea than forcing pills down his throat.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dean rolled his eyes and got the girls into the car. “You want a lift?”

“We’ll catch up with you,” Meg said. “Uncle Crowley will be going for a while and I should be here in case it gets ugly.” She straightened up. “You, uh, might want to ask Sam to be on standby.”

“He’s not that kind of lawyer, but sure.” Dean got in the car. Cas was leaning back in the passenger seat, still breathing heavily. Emma and Claire were watching, both looking terrified. Dean looked at Cas a moment before he pulled the sedatives out of the glove compartment and shook one out. “Castiel.”

Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean, but didn’t really seem to see him.

“Swallow this.”

Cas stared for a moment before he accepted the pill and swallowed it. Dean handed him a bottle of water and started driving.

Thank God that Cas listened to that. Dean really did not want to encourage use of “alternative medicine” with the girls.

*

It didn’t take too long to get home. Cas was still awake, but he wasn’t responding to anything, just staring straight ahead, his eyes bright.

“Claire, take that box inside,” Dean said. “Emma, go call Aunt Ellen and see if she can get over here.”

“With or without a shotgun?” Emma asked.

“Her choice,” Dean said. “I just don’t want you two to be in the house alone right now, and it might take us a while to get inside.”

“Okay.” The girls got out of the car and headed into the house. Dean watched to make sure they got inside before he turned back to Cas.

“Cas?”

Cas blinked slowly and turned to look at him. He looked...scared. Confused. Lost. Dean’s heart broke to see that look on his boyfriend’s face. Dean held out his hand. It took a moment before Cas took it, letting Dean rub circles in the back.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said. “We should have left sooner.”

Cas shook his head, but didn’t speak. He seemed to struggle for a minute, but couldn’t quite form words.

“Hey,” Dean said. “You don’t need to say anything...that was...he shouldn’t have seen us. But he did, and now…”

“He knows about you,” Cas whispered.

“He was going to find out about me,” Dean said. “I mean, this town’s not that big.”

Cas swallowed. “He’ll hurt you.”

“I’d like to see him try.”

“Dean, I’m serious...he’s going to do everything he can to make our lives hell...our lives, the girls’ lives…”

“And if he keeps harassing us, we’ll call in the big guns,” Dean said. “Right now, we let Meg and Crowley handle it...you just focus on staying safe.”

Cas nodded. They sat silent for a few more minutes.

“Do you believe in God?” Cas asked suddenly.

Dean stared out the windshield for a long time before he answered. “No,” he said. “Or at least...if there is a God, I don’t think he gives a shit about us.”

Cas looked down. “Part of me agrees with that,” he said. “If there is a God...I don’t think He would have let me suffer. But part of me...I was told for eighteen years that God worked through my father, that the punishments he gave me came from God. And it’s been fifteen years and I still can’t let go of that...I still can’t help but think he could be right.”

“No,” Dean said. “Cas, listen to me. If there’s a God, and He’s still out there and cares about us, He doesn’t manifest through that shit. Everything Chuck says...that’s just him trying to feel better about his own hatred. It’s got nothing to do with God.” Dean raised Cas’s hand and kissed the knuckles. “You want proof that God doesn’t hate us? This, right here. You and me, and our kids, living a happy life. If God hated us, we wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“But you don’t think He’s out there?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah...I think it’s just us. That we make our choices, and there’s no grand plan. It’s just us, doing our best. And maybe there’s no great reward or purpose to it. Maybe this is all we got. And I used to think, well, this is what we get, so nothing matters...might as well just have fun with everything and not give a damn about tomorrow.”

“And now?”

“Now...I still don’t think there’s any grand plan. But if this is all I get, I should make it count...I should leave the world better than it was when I came into it. And I should love you so much that it makes everything else fade away.” Dean kissed Cas’s hand again. “If at the end of my life, all I’ve left are three happy kids and a man who knows I loved him, I will be a very happy man.”

Cas smiled a bit. “It sounds nice,” he said. “Not having a fate...it’s freeing. And maybe God did push me into your path...I chose Sioux Falls at random...but now that I’ve found you...I’ll reject any fate that makes me leave again.”

“You sure?” Dean said. “Only there’s still time to pack it all up and drive to California...I’m sure the MTCM won’t find much footing there.”

Cas seemed to consider it for a moment, then shook his head. “My bees wouldn’t do well in California,” he said.

Dean smiled. “Okay.” He kept rubbing Cas’s hand. “You ready to go in yet?”

“Yeah,” Cas said. “Probably better...before the sedative knocks me down.”

“Next time, we can use the alternative medicine,” Dean suggested.

“Not in front of the girls,” Cas said. “They know better than to take random pills...they’re at an age where they will actively steal my edibles.”

Dean paused. “Do you normally keep those in the house?” he asked.

Cas shook his head. “I left them with Meg...and I haven’t used them since we got together.”

“Okay.” Dean got out of the car and went around, helping Cas out of the passenger seat. “Just make sure to hide them really well. Last thing we need is anyone bringing us up on drug charges.”

“I’ll give them back to Meg,” Cas promised.

“Okay.”

*

Cas dropped pretty quickly once they were inside. Dean managed to get him into the bedroom and out of his coat, tie and shoes, but that was about all he could manage.

Ellen did come, with her shotgun, and she planted herself in the kitchen, watching the front door. The girls were allowed to watch as much TV as they wanted, something that Cas, at least, normally tried to limit, but Dean preferred to let the idiot box babysit for a while. He looked in on them, determined Ellen had the situation under control, and then went back upstairs, sitting on the bed next to Cas, holding his hand in case he woke up.

He stayed there for almost two hours before he heard the door open again. Dean listened and could hear Meg’s voice, and Sam’s, and he breathed a sigh of relief. That probably meant that whatever had happened was over, at least. He considered going downstairs, but then decided he should stay with Cas; whatever Sam and Meg had to say could be said once Cas was conscious.

Dean had just about fallen asleep himself when there was a knock on the door. “Yeah?” Dean called, his voice rough.

Sam came in, looking exhausted. “There’s dinner if either of you wants it,” he said. “Ellen had Jo bring it over.”

Dean glanced at Cas, who was starting to stir a little. “Give us a few minutes,” he said. “What happened?”

“Far as I hear, not much,” Sam said. “Crowley and Chuck exchanged petty arguments for an hour before Jody made them both leave. No fight, no riot, just two guys shouting doctrine at each other.” He shrugged. “Pretty anti-climatic, really, but it was good that you two got out of the line of fire.”

“Yeah, great,” Dean said. “Any idea if the Asshole Garrison is hanging around still?”

“I mean, it’s not like Jody could run them out of town. She wants to, but she can’t.”

“They won’t leave,” Cas said unexpectedly. Dean turned at once as Cas sat up, looking hardly better than he had before. “They’re here for me and Claire...and they won’t go away until they get what they came for.”

“I can help you file a restraining order,” Sam offered.

Cas shook his head. “Gabriel tried that...it’s like playing whack-a-mole. Every time he gets an order against one of them, they find someone else to go harass him...he gave up because it was cheaper and easier to just move every few years without leaving a forwarding address.”

“And that’s not really an option for us right now,” Dean added.

“Yeah, you got another nine years before you can achieve your dream of living in your car,” Sam agreed.

Cas made a wounded noise and Dean looked at him. “Cas?”

“Sorry,” Cas said. “Just...something John said.”

“Well, if John said it, it was bullshit,” Dean said. “And I’m already at my limit today.”

“Yeah, maybe we should just lock John and Chuck in a room together and let them fling shit at each other,” Sam said.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Cas said.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Now come on...you both need to eat.”


	5. Chapter 5

Claire at least had the decency to wait until the awful, awful weekend was over to ambush Cas. Dean had (rather reluctantly) been sent to the salvage yard to pick up parts for Bobby’s shop; Emma had determined she would continue going to school, while Cas had made arrangements for Claire to study online until further notice. There was only a month left in the school year anyway, and Cas was determined that Chuck would not even get the chance to talk to Claire alone.

Given all the excitement of the weekend and the sudden decision to move Claire to remote learning, it wasn’t surprising when she cornered Cas in his art room late Monday morning, looking very grumpy.

“Please tell me what’s going on,” Claire demanded.

Cas sighed. “Claire…”

“That preacher sent you into a panic attack and you’ve pulled me out of school,” Claire said. “And you’ve been upset and panicky for over a week now.” She sat down in the extra chair across from Cas. “You’re scaring me...and I’m not a little girl anymore. I should know what’s happening.”

Cas stared down at his table for a minute, finishing the paint on the glass he was working with. “What did Jimmy tell you about his childhood?” he finally asked.

“Not much,” Claire admitted. “He always evaded everything but the most basic information.”

“Right,” Cas said. “So...you’ve probably guessed it wasn’t very happy.”

“Well, yeah...I mean, when I asked why you were the only family I knew, he said that the others weren’t very nice and he wouldn’t talk to them.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Cas scrubbed a hand over his face. “The preacher in the market...that was my father. I don’t know why he’s here, but I know it’s not good. And I’m trying to protect you from him.”

“And you think locking me up at home is going to do that?”

“I don’t know. But he knows where you go to school and could probably identify you...I don’t know if he’d try to take you, but I’m not going to give him the chance.” Cas reached over and took Claire’s hand; it was a mark of how serious the situation was that she let him. “I promised your father that I would keep you safe...and until Chuck leaves or Sam figures out a way to keep him away from us, this is the best I’ve come up with.” He forced a smile. “It’s only a month out of school.”

“And what about the summer?” Claire asked. “Do I really have to stay here the whole time?”

“No,” Cas said. “I’m okay with you being out with your friends if there’s an adult with you. And if you carry pepper spray and let Meg teach you to fight.”

Claire shrugged. “I should do those things anyway,” she said. “I mean, Chuck isn’t the only creeper out there.”

“Okay,” Cas said. “We’ll see what happens and reassess your schooling in August.”

“Fine,” Claire said.

“And speaking of school, you should get back to it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Claire stood up and, to Cas’s surprise, hugged him. “Thank you.”

Cas stood and pulled Claire in to hug properly. She leaned on him, and Cas knew that whatever else happened, he would still have this.

*

The next month was extremely chaotic, for as little as what happened.

Chuck continued preaching in public spaces; Dean saw him more than Cas did, being out more, but Cas had a fair few run-ins with him. They took Sam’s advice and didn’t engage, though Chuck did tend to shout invectives straight at them.

Worse was the amount of support the MTCM seemed to be gathering. Cas had never felt unwelcome in Sioux Falls, per se--at least, no more than anywhere else--but he was starting to feel a lot more hostility now. Nothing overt, not yet, but small things. Parents from the softball team who had been cordial suddenly not wanting their daughters around Emma and Claire. Fewer people stopping at his booth at the farmer’s market. Regular customers of Dean’s who suddenly found new mechanics.

“I don’t get it,” Dean said late one night when the girls were asleep. “Nothing’s changed about us...we haven’t done anything different.”

Cas sighed. “We didn’t have to,” he said. “People like Chuck...they’re good at planting doubt. Good at making people think we did something wrong when we didn’t change a thing.”

“But we’ve been here for years,” Dean said. “I’ve lived here since I was sixteen, you’ve been here fifteen months...Emma’s lived here her whole life. Why would anyone take the word of a complete stranger over us?”

“They aren’t.” Cas sighed, leaning back on Dean. “He’s not giving them new ideas, just bringing out the biases they already had. They could push them down when we were just the friendly neighborhood gays, but now that we’re the sign of all that’s wrong in the world…”

Dean sighed heavily. “I’d be okay with that if it wasn’t interfering with our living,” he said. “Rate we’re both losing customers, we’re going to stop being able to pay the mortgage soon.”

“It’s not that bad, Dean...and I know your family won’t let us starve.”

“No, but social services wouldn’t like it if you didn’t have a roof over Claire’s head.”

“So what can we do?” Cas curled further into Dean’s embrace. “It’s not like we can just get new jobs...and my trust fund money won’t last forever. If I can’t support her…”

“We’ll figure it out,” Dean said. “Somehow.”

Cas nodded. “Suppose I can go back to working retail...I’m good at managing a gas station.”

“Meg told me you were smoking three joints a day to keep yourself from strangling a customer.”

“I was not!” Cas looked offended. “I took edibles. Better for my lungs.”

“Yeah. But social services would hate that more.”

“I could do it without being high.”

Dean looked at him for a long moment. “Cas. I have a customer-facing position and I’ve spent the last decade fighting to do it sober...and I only have shallow emotional trauma and no mental conditions, plus Bobby kicks out anyone who annoys either of us too much. You get none of those advantages at the Gas and Sip.”

“So what else am I supposed to do?” Cas asked. “If it’s a choice between my mental well-being and Claire being safe…”

“We can do both,” Dean said. “You can’t protect Claire if you’ve been driven crazy by every Karen in South Dakota.”

“No, right now I’m just being driven crazy by fundamentalists. That’s so much better.”

“Mm.” Dean leaned over and kissed Cas. “Maybe I should drive you crazy instead.”

Cas half-smiled. “You always do.”

*

Somehow, life went on. Or at least, the rest of Cas’s family went on. Cas, though...Cas didn’t know what to do.

He especially didn’t know what to do when the doorbell rang early in June. Claire and Emma had gone off with Charlie to do something that Cas had been assured was perfectly legal, while Dean was back at work. Cas didn’t know who would be calling on him, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be good.

His suspicions were confirmed the moment he opened the door. A very perky young woman was on the doorsteps, a stack of pamphlets in hand and a nametag reading Hester. “Good morning!” she said. “Do you have a moment to hear about our Lord and Savior?”

Cas sighed heavily. “Mormon, Jehovah, or Metatron Tablet?”

“Metatron Tablet.” Her smile was blinding.

Cas closed the door in her face. It had barely latched before the bell was ringing again. He sighed, counted to ten, and opened it again.

“I’m not interested.”

Hester’s smile was gone. “You’re Castiel Novak.”

Cas stiffened. “He sent you.”

“He wants to talk to you...he wants you to come back into the fold.”

“He can cram the fold up his ass. I’m happy with my life...I don’t need him.”

“It’s not too late, Castiel. You can still repent...give up this life of sin and be forgiven.”

Cas leaned in the doorway, looking around his home, his yard, his flowers. “I see no sin here,” he said. “Just life. Just us.”

Hester looked unimpressed. “You live here, with another man in your bed, raising children to think that this lifestyle is appropriate. You deny your father not only the loyalty you owe him, but his granddaughter as well. You pollute your body with poison and you do the work of a woman. I see more sin here than I ever had.”

Cas just stared at her for a moment. “Are you done?”

She shoved a pamphlet into his hand. “Seek salvation, Castiel. You will not find it with Dean Winchester.”

“No,” Cas said. “Dean isn’t my salvation...he’s my Heaven.” With that, he closed the door.

Setting the pamphlet on fire wasn’t nearly as satisfying as Cas had hoped, though.

*

With all the excitement over the last few weeks, Dean had almost completely forgotten about his own family drama until John came back into the shop. Bobby was out, Garth was busy, so that left Dean to deal with him.

“The part just got in,” Dean said. “You still good to do the labor?”

John blinked. “Straight to business, Dean?”

“I have nothing else to say.”

“Dean, I’m sorry.” John sighed. “I’ve heard what that cult has been saying about you...it’s not good.”

“They can say what they want,” Dean said. “I’ve stopped listening.”

“Has Castiel?”

“What do you care?”

John shrugged. “He’s a bit of a nancy, but he’s a nice boy. And I know that this shit hurts Emma.”

Dean grunted. “We’re handling it.”

“Dean, if I can help…”

“Look, Dad, unless you know a way to run an entire church group out of Sioux Falls, I don’t think there’s a lot you can do except fix the truck and get out of my hair.”

“Have you tried actually talking to the preacher?”

“No...we leave that to Cas’s friends. They have practice dealing with that brand of crazy.”

John shook his head. “He’s really done a number on you, hasn’t he?”

“What?”

“The Dean I know would have gotten into a fistfight every day and be thrown in jail every other night until they left. But you...you just roll over and take it.”

“Cas didn’t do anything on me,” Dean said. “This is Emma’s work. Knowing I have that girl to look after keeps me out of trouble...and yeah, Cas helps with that, too. Keeping him safe is more important than punching those assholes. But I learned to control my temper a long time ago.”

“Not soon enough,” John said. “How many times did Sheriff Mills put you in jail after a bar fight?”

“That was fifteen years ago. I’ve grown up since then.”

“And Castiel sees it that way?”

“Cas knows I have a past. And he knows that I haven’t gotten in a fight or gotten drunk or anything in years.”

“You also haven’t been under too much stress in years.”

Dean snorted. “Not much stress? Since I got sober, I’ve raised a girl alone, gotten married and divorced, watched Sam go through Hell with that bitch Ruby, and started dating a very traumatized autistic man who also has a teenager of his own, which means half the time my house is a girly clubhouse and the other half it’s a warzone full of drama bombs. I wouldn’t say that wasn’t stressful.”

“And you don’t think this latest clusterfuck is going to push you over the edge?”

“You think it will?”

“I don’t know, Dean,” John said. “But Castiel hasn’t seen the worst of you. It was enough to drive Lisa away, and she’s mentally stable with a good family. What would the real Dean Winchester do to a man like Castiel?”

Dean smiled sardonically. “I know what you’re doing,” he said. “It’s not going to work.”

“I’m not doing anything,” John said. “I’m just looking out for you...Castiel is nice. And I do feel sorry for him. But I don’t know if he can handle the real you.”

“This is the real me, Dad.” Dean stood up straighter. “This, right here. I’m sober, I’m healthy, and I’m not doing anything stupid. And if I ever fall off that wagon, I know Sam and Bobby will pull me back before I hurt Cas. He’ll never have to handle the old me, because I’m never going to put him in that position. I can’t do that to him.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Dean,” John said. “You’ve been a fuckup from the start...this won’t be any different.”

Dean glared. “Here’s your damn belt,” he said, pulling it out from behind the counter. “Now go fix your truck and leave me alone.”

John nodded and handed Dean a wad of cash. “Keep the change.”

*

Dean didn’t go home after work that day. He was too angry, too keyed up, and he wouldn’t take that home to Cas. So he sent a quick text saying he’d be late and started to drive. He didn’t know where he was going, just that he had to be far away from everyone at the moment.

He hadn’t even realized he’d headed for his favorite old haunt until he stopped the car outside the bar. Dean stared out the window, wondering why he’d driven here of all places.

No, he knew why. Dean’s hands had been shaking ever since John had come into the shop, and really, this had been inevitable the moment all of this had started. Dean leaned on the steering wheel, fighting with himself. He shouldn’t go in, shouldn’t even be anywhere near here, and yet his body was aching to go inside and forget all of his problems for just a moment.

Dean fumbled for his phone and opened the contacts. He knew he should call Sam, or Bobby, or literally anyone to come get him and stop him going down this road, but somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to dial. Because calling Sam would mean admitting John got to him. Calling Sam would be admitting weakness.

He stared down at his phone for a moment before he put it back in his pocket and got out of the car. Every step toward the door was both freeing and a trial. He knew he shouldn’t, he should turn around and go home now, but he couldn’t stand the thought of facing all of this as he was. He needed something, just one thing to make this easier.

The bar was still familiar, even all these years later, though Dean didn’t know the bartender. Pretty girl, fairly young. Ten years ago, Dean would have taken less than ten minutes to get her number and an invite into the back room, but now...now, he just wanted to send the poor girl to college and keep her safe from guys like he used to be.

It was still early so the bar wasn’t very crowded. The girl came over almost at once. “What can I get you?”

Dean stared straight ahead, still wrestling with himself. “Whiskey, neat,” he said without thinking. He couldn’t think about what he was doing or he would hate himself a lot faster. The bartender poured it out and Dean took the glass, hand shaking, just staring at the amber liquid.

How had he come to this? Ten years of sobriety. Ten years fighting against it, forcing this part of himself down, and he was about to end it, and for what? His asshole dad, who had been an asshole from day one and never given it a rest, and a couple of fundamentalists. Was that really all it took for Dean’s carefully built stability to come crashing down on him?

He kept staring at the whiskey, not drinking it. He wasn’t sure if he would drink it; he still didn’t know why he had come here. But he knew he hadn’t lost yet. He still hadn’t taken a drink. He was just holding it. Just watching the lights move in the liquid.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Dean turned to see Crowley coming over, a glass of something presumably very fruity in hand. Dean forced a smile. “Not a place I frequent anymore.”

“You said you don’t drink.” Crowley gave Dean a pointed look.

“I don’t,” Dean said reflexively.

“Really? So you just have a shot of whiskey to look at?”

Dean sighed. “I’m still fighting a battle over here, and I think I’m losing.”

“Clearly.” Crowley looked Dean up and down, and Dean couldn’t tell if it was interest or pity. “Come on...I’ve got a quiet table and it looks like you could use someone to talk to.”

Dean tried to think of an objection, but realized he had none, so he followed Crowley to a table in the back corner of the bar and settled in. Crowley just looked at him, sipping that ridiculous cocktail, and Dean could just stare at the whiskey next to him.

“So out with it,” Crowley finally said. “What’s happened to send you off the wagon?”

“My dad’s an asshole, Cas’s dad is an asshole.” Dean shrugged. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“And you think taking a shot of whiskey is going to solve any of it?”

“No, but it might let me forget it for a while.”

“Will forgetting about it solve the problem?”

“Fuck,” Dean muttered. “I don’t know how to solve the problem. Even if both of them packed up and left tomorrow, Cas is going to be fucked up for weeks, and they’ll be back when they feel like torturing us more. I can’t fix this, and I can’t help him and I’m just...a fuckup. Like my dad always said.”

Crowley nodded slowly. “And you’re just going to prove him right?”

“There’s nothing left to prove.” Dean stared at his glass for another moment before he knocked it back all at once. “My dad knows better than anyone that this is all I am.”

“All right then.” Crowley signaled a waitress for another round. “If this is all you are, far be it from me to stop you.”

“Thanks,” Dean muttered. A minute later, another shot was put in front of him. “Don’t tell Sam.”

“Don’t worry,” Crowley said. “I can be very discrete.”

*

Dean didn’t remember too much more of that evening. He knew that he drank a lot, and that he and Crowley talked for hours. He was surprised how easy it was to talk to Meg’s weird uncle, but Crowley was charming and attentive; Dean reflected that, ten years ago, he might have taken the offer of a screw from him. Within the hour, Crowley had drawn every bit of information Dean remembered about his dad and childhood out, though Dean didn’t know why Crowley was so interested.

Eventually, though, Crowley looked at his watch--an actual watch--and then back at Dean. “It’s nearly eight,” he said. “You should get home.”

“Fuck,” Dean muttered. “Cas.” He got up, swaying slightly.

“Here.” Crowley moved around the table to support Dean. “I’ll take you home, you’re in no state to drive.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. He didn’t actually know what he was saying or doing, really, just that he had to get home.

And that Cas would hate him, but that was inevitable, really. Cas would have found out eventually how fucked up Dean was; it was always going to end with Cas hating him. Because that’s how all of Dean’s relationships ended.

Dean tried not to think about how badly he’d just fucked everything up, really. Cas, Emma, Sam...they would all be so disappointed in him. And part of Dean didn’t care, didn’t want anything except to slip further down and drown. Cas had been safe before Dean got involved; maybe if Dean was gone, Chuck would run out of ammunition. Cas would have no more ties to Sioux Falls; he would be able to leave and find a place Chuck couldn’t get to him. Maybe he’d even be allowed to take Emma with him, go somewhere they could all be happy without Dean.

“Dean.” Crowley’s voice was sharp. “We’re here.”

Dean looked up and nodded before stumbling out of the car. He slumped back against it, breathing deeply and trying not to throw up or fall over. Crowley sighed and hauled Dean’s arm around his shoulder to half-carry him up to the door and ring the bell.

Cas answered almost at once, looking extremely worried. Crowley dumped Dean into his arms.

“What happened?” Cas demanded.

“Nothing he won’t survive,” Crowley said. “And he gave me a lot of valuable insight.”

“If your idea of helping is getting him drunk…”

“I didn’t do anything,” Crowley said. “He did this to himself. I was just supervising to make sure he wasn’t there until closing.”

“A valuable contribution, I’m sure,” Cas said drily. “Now if it’s all the same to you, I should get him to bed.”

“Yes, you should,” Crowley said. “And you’ll want to pick up that car of his...I’ll text you the address.”

“You don’t even have my phone number.”

“Meg does.” Crowley waved. “Good night, boys.”

*

Cas hauled Dean up the stairs to their bedroom, confusion and anger coursing through him. Why? Why had Dean thrown everything away like this?

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispered as Cas set him down on the bed.

“I’m sure you are,” Cas said, kneeling down to get Dean’s shoes off. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“Cas…”

“Dean, you’re drunk. I’m not going to get into this now.”

Dean looked down, only seeming half aware of where he was and what was happening. “Why are you taking care of me?” he asked blankly as Cas got his shoes off and helped him lie down.

“Because I care about you, even if you’re an idiot.”

Dean nodded vaguely. “But you should be mad.”

“Trust me, I am mad.”

“Then show it!” Dean sat up again, tears springing to his eyes. “You should be angry at them! At all of them!”

Cas rubbed his forehead. “And what good will being angry about any of this do?”

“I don’t know, but you might actually fight if you get mad about it!”

“Dean, stop shouting.”

“I’m sick of this!” Dean cried out, ignoring Cas completely. “I’m sick of keeping quiet and not standing up to them! I’m sick of going out every day to have people yell slurs at me! I’m sick of watching you lock yourself and Claire in here and being too afraid to really be with me! I’m sick of ignoring it all and being good, and if this is what it takes to get me angry again…”

Cas pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Sam,” he said. “Lie down before you hurt yourself.”

“Cas…”

“I can’t deal with you right now.” Cas turned to leave the room. “Sleep on your side and don’t die.”

If Dean said anything else, Cas didn’t hear it as he closed the door. He stood on the landing, taking deep breaths, before he headed downstairs.

The girls were in the living room, playing a video game. Both looked up when Cas came in.

“Cas?” Emma said. “Is Dad…?”

“He’s sick,” Cas said shortly. “Don’t bother him.” He stepped out on the back porch and hit Sam’s contact number.

“Sam Winchester.”

“Sam, it’s Cas.” Cas blinked quickly, tears welling up. “I...I need you to come over here.”

“What happened?”

“He...Dean, he…”

“Cas?”

Cas couldn’t speak anymore, the tears overwhelming him as he slid down to sit on the porch step. He just sat there, sobbing.

“Cas, stay there, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes...just need to drop Jack with Ellen.”

“...okay.” Cas hung up the phone and sat still, staring straight ahead, even though he couldn’t see anything through the tears.

He had known it wouldn’t last, that Dean was going to want more than Cas was able to give. He should have known that it would all be too much, that he would drive Dean over the edge again. And he couldn’t even take care of Dean, not like Dean took care of him. Dean had seen the worst of Cas and drove four hours to save him. Now Cas was seeing the worst of Dean and couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as him.

He didn’t know how long he sat there before Sam pulled up. Cas managed to wipe away the tears and stand up. Sam came hurrying up to him. “Cas!”

“Sam.” Cas reached out and collapsed into Sam’s arms. Sam hugged him, clearly confused and alarmed.

“Cas, what’s happened?”

“Dean,” Cas said. “He...he’s relapsed...and...and he doesn’t want me because I can’t give him everything he wants and…”

Sam hugged Cas tighter. “Cas, if he’s...relapsed...he doesn’t mean what he says.” Sam guided Cas back to the porch step, keeping an arm around him. “Dean...he’s a mean drunk, but...well. No one hates Dean Winchester when he’s drunk more than Dean Winchester when he’s sober.”

Cas sighed. “No one hates Dean more than Dean, drunk or sober.”

“Yeah.” Sam shook his head. “Look...tomorrow, when he’s sobered up...he’ll be grovelling before you’ve even had your coffee. Trust me...he’s done it to me a few times. More than a few times, actually.”

“You had to live with it longer.”

“Yeah...he started raiding our dad’s alcohol when he was fifteen and didn’t even try to get sober until he was twenty-two...it was touch and go for a while if he would even be able to keep Emma with how he was.”

“But he stopped.”

“Yeah...eventually. It took a lot of counseling...and the shit he flung at me was...he’s never forgiven himself for it.”

Cas blinked, the tears starting again. “So why now?”

“You’ve both had a lot of shit going on,” Sam said. “And Dean...he’s never handled stress well. He’s been lucky, the last ten years...he’s had support, John’s stayed away...nothing’s happened to drive him over the edge until now.”

“But…”

“And it’s not your fault, Cas. Trust me...he’s better off with you than without.”

“I can’t even help him.”

“Yes, you can. You called me, and that’s helping.” Sam glanced at the house. “You okay if I go deal with him?”

“Don’t be loud,” Cas said. “The girls don’t know...I just told them he’s sick.”

“Oh, trust me,” Sam said. “I won’t yell at him until tomorrow when he’s good and hungover.” Sam got up. “You might want to stay in Ben’s room for tonight, though...it might get ugly in there.”

“Okay.” Cas got up and followed Sam into the house. He stopped in the kitchen, made coffee, and decided to let Sam handle whatever came next.

*

Dean woke up with a pounding headache feeling like shit like he hadn’t since he was too young to know better.

Sam was sitting next to him, glaring. “What the hell, Dean?”

“You’re going to have to give me a few minutes and a cup of coffee,” Dean said.

“Dean, you were doing well. You went ten years without touching a drop, and you never took your temper out on Cas. So what. Happened?”

Dean sat up, rubbing his temples. “Dad happened,” he said. “And I was sick of it, so I went and I got hammered with Meg’s weird uncle. Happy?”

“No,” Sam said. “But that’s not important.” He shoved a glass of water at Dean. “I’ve already told Bobby you won’t be at work today. Drink this, then go apologize to Cas. And then you can apologize to Emma.”

Dean blinked, trying to clear his head. “What am I apologizing for?”

“You’re apologizing to Cas for telling him he’s not enough, and you’re apologizing to Emma for breaking your promises again.” Sam’s face softened a bit. “And when you’re done with that, we’ll figure out what to do about Dad and Chuck.”

“Sam, there’s nothing we can do. They’re here, and they’re driving us all insane, and we just have to live with that.”

“No,” Sam said. “We don’t. And I’m not going to let them keep destroying my family like this.”

“Right.” Dean got up and groaned. “You figure out a way to make them play nice, I’ll be happy to hear it.”

He went down to the kitchen before he could hear Sam’s reply. The kitchen was empty--not unusual for this time on a Friday morning, but Dean thought it was a bit quieter than usual. Dean poured a cup of coffee and drank it slowly. Judging from the taste, it had been made only a few minutes before, meaning either Sam had made it or Cas was awake and moving. Dean shuffled to the back door and looked out.

Cas was there, kneeling in his flower garden. Dean took several deep breaths and downed half the coffee before he stepped outside, already hating himself. Cas didn’t even look up when the door opened and closed.

“Cas,” Dean said.

Cas didn’t look at him.

“Cas, I’m sorry.”

That did get Cas to stop his work, though he still didn’t look at Dean. Dean waited, hoping that this was fixable.

“When I was sent to the boarding school,” Cas began, and Dean sucked in a breath. He hadn’t meant to tread on a mine this big this early in the morning with a hangover. “When I went there, they did things to me...you know that.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Cas...you know you’re enough. You know that…”

“I know you say that.” Cas finally turned to look at him. “But last night…”

“Cas.” Dean looked down, blinking back tears. “What I said last night...yeah, I’m angry. I’m angry that all of this happened...to me, to you...and I’m mad at myself for letting myself get like this again. But I shouldn’t have...I never should have taken that out on you.”

Cas nodded, clearly thinking. Dean waited patiently.

“Last night, you asked why I’m not angry,” Cas finally said. “But I am...I’m so angry. About what happened to me...about what happened to you. I’m angry about what’s happening to us now.” He stood up, glaring. “And I’m angry about what happened last night. I’m angry that you broke your sobriety, and that you said those things to me. And I’m so, so angry that they’ve done this to you.”

“I made my own choice,” Dean said. “I fucked up. They didn’t make me do this.”

“You’re right,” Cas said. “No one made you do this. So I guess my question is, are you going to keep doing this?”

Dean looked past Cas out to the garden. “I don’t know,” he said. “I didn’t think I was going to fail last night, but I did. And I don’t want to make any more promises if I don’t know I can keep them.”

Cas nodded. “I know it’s not fair,” he said. “I know that you promised to stay with me no matter what...that you said my issues aren’t going to stop you. But I can’t make that promise.”

“I know.” Dean sighed. “So...how do we settle the property?”

“Settle...I’m not leaving, Dean.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” Cas looked right at Dean, blue eyes bright. “Not this time. But you’re going back to counseling...Sam told me you’ve done well on your own so far, but it’s clearly not working anymore. I don’t care if you do it in a group or just to a counselor on your own, but you’re going.”

Dean blinked. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” 

“That it?”

“No.” Cas’s glare intensified. “If you ever, and I mean ever do that again, I will take Claire and I will leave. And trust me when I say that if I decide to go, you will not find me again.”

Dean nodded. “I understand...but can you promise one more thing?”

“Yes?”

“If I ever do that again and you run...I want you to take Emma with you. Drop her with Sam or with Bobby or whoever, but don’t leave her with me. Not if I’m like that.”

Cas nodded. “I can do that.”

“Okay.” Dean stepped forward tentatively. “Cas...I’m so sorry.”

Cas finally relaxed and went to Dean, embracing him. Dean hugged him back, finally letting himself cry.

*

Dean knocked on the door to Emma’s room. And then waited before knocking again. “Emma?”

The music turned off and Emma opened the door. Dean took a deep breath. “Emma…”

“You fell off, didn’t you?”

Dean nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Emma shrugged. “Lisa always kept it hidden from me...I know Sam lies about it. But I know what happens...I know how you are. And I know that you’re trying.”

“So…”

“So you’re sorry.” Emma shrugged. “This is the first one I remember...and you’ve never hurt me.”

“So...we good?”

“Yeah,” Emma said. “We’re good.”


	6. Chapter 6

Dean tried to believe everything was good for the next week. It didn’t exactly work.

Emma was fine; she didn’t tend to hold grudges. The joys of being a teenage girl, Dean supposed; he didn’t think either Emma or Claire had ever managed to stay mad at anyone longer than about two days.

Cas, though...that was different. Oh, they were still functioning, but there was a lot of tension. Tension that Dean didn’t like and couldn’t figure out how to fix.

He tried to wait it out. Tried to give Cas time to process what happened. Who Dean was.

It came to a head on Saturday. Jo and Charlie had taken the girls for a weekend out, ostensibly to do some shopping but more likely to get into a lot of trouble. Dean figured it was the perfect opportunity to try and clear the air.

He found Cas in the art room, where he’d expected him to be. Cas was staring at several shards of painted glass, not making any move to start assembling them. Not that Dean ever understood how Cas made his art, but it usually involved a lot more moving and a lot less staring. It was one of the few places where Cas didn’t just stare straight ahead, but now…

“Cas?”

Cas jerked and turned. “Oh...hello, Dean.”

Dean sat down in the opposite chair. “Cas, what happened…”

“It’s not that,” Cas said. “At least...not entirely.”

“Then what is it?”

Cas sighed and stared past Dean for a moment. “You want to be with me,” he said. “Entirely.”

“Well...yes,” Dean said. “But...it’s not what you want, and I’m not…”

“I do want it.”

Dean blinked. “What?”

“I want it.” Cas looked right into Dean’s eyes. “I want you.”

“Cas…”

“Dean. What happened to me...what they did to me...it’s controlled my whole life. It’s made relationships...impossible. Not that I tried, with anyone except you and Meg, but part of the reason I didn’t was...because I’m so afraid.”

Dean reached out and took Cas’s hand, starting the circles slowly. Cas closed his eyes for a moment, letting Dean ground him.

“I feel like my body isn’t my own and hasn’t been since I was twelve years old. Like I’m just borrowing this form because I have to exist here, but it’s not...me. None of it...matters. I feel pain, but it’s distant. And...and pleasure isn’t something I’ve ever experienced.”

“Not even...you know…” Dean gestured vaguely. “On your own?”

Cas shook his head. “It wasn’t allowed...not that I ever...but anyone who did was punished. And...like most of the things...conditioned into me...I never even tried to break out of it.”

Dean let out a heavy breath. “So this isn’t just...scared of intimacy with people.”

“No,” Cas said. “It’s more that...I want so much more, but I wouldn’t even know where to start, and whenever I try...well. You know what happens.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “So how do we navigate it?”

“I don’t know,” Cas admitted. “I just know that we can’t keep living like this.”

Dean nodded. They sat there for a long time, just holding hands, trying to figure it all out.

Dean’s phone ringing interrupted them. Dean pulled back a bit and picked it up. “Sam?”

“Dean, I think I’ve managed to solve this.”

Dean sat up straighter. “Solve it? How?”

“Look, it’s a lot, but it’s the best I can do. I’m on my way over, I’ll explain when I get there.”

“Yeah, great.” Dean hung up the phone. “Sam thinks he’s got a solution.”

“Please tell me he means to our fathers and not what we were just discussing.”

Dean barked a laugh. “Not unless he’s psychic,” he assured Cas. “And even if he was, he’d sooner make fun of me than come up with a solution.”

“Right.” Cas stood up and glanced at himself. “Do I have time to make myself more presentable?”

“Maybe?” Dean shrugged. “At least put on a flannel over the paint shirt.”

“I don’t do flannel, Dean.” Cas kissed his cheek. “And we’ll be continuing that conversation later.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean kissed Cas properly. “Now go get changed.”

*

Sam arrived ten minutes later, laptop already out and open. He planted himself at the kitchen table without saying a word and started typing.

“Sam?” Dean said. “You gonna explain what’s going on?”

“Yeah, in a sec.” Sam glanced up. “Where’s Cas?”

“Trying to look presentable,” Dean said. 

Sam gave him an odd look. “I already know you live like this.”

“Yeah, well, Lawyer Sam is apparently scarier than Uncle Sam.” Dean smirked. “Which is weird, I’d think Cas would be more concerned about being recruited to the Army than family counseling.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “The Army isn’t here screaming slurs at him. Unless we’re talking the Salvation Army.”

“Not at this time of year.”

Luckily, Cas appeared before the conversation could get any more off track, wearing a button-down shirt, though he’d thankfully left the tie off. Dean reached out and Cas went to him at once, tucking himself under Dean’s arm, right where he belonged.

“Okay,” Sam said. “So Jody and I have been working on this ever since the Metatron people got into town. She didn’t have to know your history with them not to trust them, so she started keeping an eye out.”

“Great,” Dean said. “Have they done anything illegal?”

“Unfortunately no,” Sam said. “At least, nothing that would get them labeled a hate group or anything. She’s had to move a few picket lines back and make them change venues due to fire codes, but that’s minor stuff. But, since Jody’s been watching them, it means I have documentation of every time they’ve harassed you in public. There’s a clear enough pattern that we can definitely prove they’re going after you, specifically...especially since they don’t seem to show up as much around any other same-sex couple in Sioux Falls. But you two...any time you two are out, together or apart, there’s always someone ready to fling their shit at you.”

“So you think they’re watching us?” Cas asked.

“I’m almost certain of it.” Sam hit a few buttons. “Especially since you told me about the one who showed up at the door. Did you know that woman Hester before then?”

“No,” Cas said. “At least, I don’t think so...the last five years I spent with my father are a bit of a blur.”

“And that was over ten years ago,” Sam said. “So there’s no good reason she would have recognized you...unless she was specifically sent to speak to you. And since she didn’t go away after you closed the door on her the first time, I think that’s likely. So we have a clear and provable pattern of stalking and harassment, which would be enough for one heck of a lawsuit.”

Cas stared at the computer for a moment before he shook his head. “I don’t want to go through all that,” he said. “A lengthy lawsuit would be exhausting and not solve the problem...especially since they’re gathering so much support. Plus...well. You won’t represent me in court, and I can’t afford a case like that otherwise.”

“I thought as much,” Sam said. “And while I could represent you in this case, I would rather not take the time and resources to do it when there are easier solutions.”

“So what are you thinking?” Dean asked.

Sam glanced between them. “Jody already spoke to Chuck,” he said. “He’s made enough of a nuisance of himself for her to do that. And he asked to talk to Cas. Jody naturally can’t make you meet with him, but she could send him my way since I’m your legal representative. So I met with him and we...opened negotiations.”

“You opened negotiations?!” Dean demanded. “Sam…”

“I didn’t agree to anything,” Sam cut in. “I just heard him out. All he wants is to meet with Cas, and Claire.”

“Like hell--”

“And do what?” Cas cut in before Dean could punch Sam.

“He didn’t say,” Sam said. “He just said he wanted to meet. So I told him I would talk to you and see if there were any circumstances that would allow that.”

Dean glared. “Well, you tell that son of a bitch that if he wants to meet, it will be with me, my fist, and Ellen’s shotgun.”

“Dean,” Cas said sharply.

“Cas, he hurt you. More than you’re ever going to tell me, and if you think…”

“Claire is out of the question,” Cas cut in before Dean could work up a good outrage. “Jimmy made that clear the moment she was born. But I’d be willing to meet.”

Sam nodded. “What terms?”

“Cas…” Dean began.

“Dean comes with me,” Cas said. “And Meg. He can bring whoever he wants to back him up as long as they aren’t my brothers or anyone from the boarding school. He gets one hour, in a neutral location. And after I meet with him, I want him to pack up the ministry and leave town, for good.”

Sam finished typing. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “I do know he’ll probably bring his attorney, so I’ll probably be there as well...and Jody will probably come to make sure things don’t get too out of hand.” He gave Dean a pointed look.

“It’s a start,” Cas said. “Let’s just hope he takes it.”

“Hopefully, he will,” Sam said. “If not, what will you settle for?”

“I’ll hear his counter-offer,” Cas said. “And we’ll work from there.”

“Okay.” Sam closed his laptop. “And you two? Are you...okay?”

“We’re fine, Sam,” Dean said. “Really.”

Sam glanced between Dean and Cas. “You sure?”

“Yes,” Cas said. “We’re fine.”

“Okay,” Sam said. “But if you two need help, I know a lot of family and couple’s counselors…”

“Here we go,” Dean said.

“Dean, it would not kill you to go to counseling together.”

“I’ve already agreed to go back to substance abuse counseling. Let me sort out one issue at a time.”

“And I have a therapist,” Cas added. “Same as Claire’s. I don’t think we need any more referrals.”

“Okay,” Sam said. “I just prefer to make referrals to counselors than my colleagues.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean said. “You’ve been referring me ever since you started meeting counselors.”

“Well, maybe if you’d actually see someone…”

“I’m going to!”

“Sam,” Cas said. “Leave it.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“We’re fine,” Cas repeated. “Our problems beyond our dads are...very personal.”

Sam choked a bit. “I’ll be going.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Dean said. “We’ll see you later.”

*

Dean was still tense when he returned to work on Monday. That was not helped by the MTCM picket line across the street from the body shop.

“The hell are they doing here?” Dean called as he entered the shop.

“Making a nuisance,” Bobby said. “Screaming about you. Usual crap.” He glared out the front window. “Idjits.”

Dean groaned. “That’s not going to help with business.”

“Yeah, well.” Bobby shrugged. “Nothing wrong with a slow day.”

“One slow day, yeah,” Dean said. “But more than one? A slow week? A slow month?” Dean shook his head. “Sooner or later, they’ll drive us out of business. Cause that’s what they want...to make me miserable, to break us down until Cas is forced to play ball and they can start the abuse all over again.”

“So let Sam work on them. He’s good at that sort of thing.”

“Great.” Dean leaned on the counter, rubbing his temples and once again convincing himself that he didn’t need a drink. “So I sit here and wait for Sammy to rescue me. Great plan.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Bobby asked.

“Guess not,” Dean said. “So...guess we just sit here until quitting time and hope they go away without vandalizing my car?”

“Yep.” Bobby sat down and pulled out a book. “Get comfy.”

Dean sighed. “I still got a few cars back there to work on.”

Bobby waved him off. Dean grabbed his tools and headed to the back. At least he could take something apart; next to punching things, drinking, or having a lot of sex, it was the best way Dean knew how to relieve stress.

Around noon, though, Bobby poked his head back, looking more annoyed than Bobby usually looked. “Someone to see you,” he said.

“If it’s Dad, punch him and don’t bother me about it.”

“Not your dad.” Bobby seemed exhausted. “Cas’s dad. Won’t go away until you talk to him.”

Dean sighed and put down his tools. He headed back out to the front and stopped. Chuck was standing there, leaning on the counter.

“You must be Dean Winchester,” Chuck said.

“You would know.”

Chuck stood up. “Charles Novak.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean glared. “And if you have something to say, you’ll have to say it to my lawyer.”

“You mean your brother. Sam.” Chuck shook his head. “It seems silly to have to go through lawyers to talk to my own family.”

“Okay, let’s get one thing straight.” Dean crossed his arms. “You are not part of my family. Right now, you are just a jerk who’s making my life hell and who hurt the man I love, and the only reason you aren’t a smear on the pavement is because Sam has enough shit to deal with without me fucking up again. So if you want to say something, say it to Sam, or save it for the meeting, or I will forget that there are consequences for punching you.”

“I just wanted to meet you,” Chuck said. “See the man my son decided to sin for.”

“Well, now you’ve seen me,” Dean said. “Now get out.”

“Dean,” Chuck said. “I just want to help you...you, Castiel, Claire...that sweet daughter of yours...Emma, I think her name was...Meg. Especially Meg.”

“Meg’s got nothing to do with this.”

“Meg has everything to do with this. Meg’s the one who tempted Castiel away from the path of righteousness.”

“She saved him,” Dean said. “From you. From all the shit you put him through. And now she’s passed that on to me. So I’m only going to say this one more time. Get out of my shop.”

“I could do that,” Chuck said. “Of course, we were planning to keep picketing until you left, so we can table this conversation for another four hours...and in the meantime, I have a very long list of prayers to lead. Very loudly.”

Dean closed his eyes and counted to ten. “So you’re just going to circumvent everything and threaten me?”

“No,” Chuck said. “No, I’m not...the most we’ll do is annoy you. But it will be very annoying.”

“Buddy, only way you can get any more annoying is if you break out the acoustic guitar.”

“Oh, that comes after the prayers. I’m pretty good, actually.” Chuck smiled. “Or we can stop all this nonsense. Dispense with the lawyers...just have a family meeting. You, me and Cas...and if we want to bring the lawyers to say jargon, we can do that too. But we should be able to do all this without treating it like a major production.”

Dean considered for half a moment. “Go to hell.”

“Just one hour, Dean...one hour, we all say our piece and we part ways.”

“No can do. You’re not seeing Cas without lawyers and law enforcement present.”

“You really think you need protection from me?”

Dean snorted. “They aren’t for my protection.”

“Dean. There’s no need. I just want to sit down with our family, and meet each other. Maybe over dinner.”

“Well, it ain’t happening,” Dean said. “No matter what threats you make.”

“Hm.” Chuck seemed to think a minute; Dean tried not to think about how the look was similar to one he saw on Cas every day. “Well, then, I guess I should tell the nursing board just what Meg gives Castiel when she thinks he’s being too emotional.”

Dean’s blood went cold. “She doesn’t give him anything.”

“Don’t play coy with me. I know that no one can put up with Castiel when he’s having a fit...but since she poisons him, I can’t imagine what she does to her paying patients. The nursing board would love to know.”

Dean cursed inwardly. He knew that an investigation wouldn’t turn up anything against Meg, but he also knew that she wouldn’t thank him for any interference in her career. “Fine,” Dean said. “I’ll talk to Cas and see what we can do.”

“That’s all I ask.” Chuck smiled. “Nice to meet you at last.” And with that, he was gone.

*

Cas knew that Dean was in a bad mood the moment the door opened. He glanced into the kitchen, where Claire and Emma were doing their summer reading with their earbuds in. Cas made sure their volume was too high to hear much before he slipped into the hall to meet Dean.

Dean was leaning on the wall, eyes closed, looking so miserable that Cas’s heart broke for the hundredth time that week. “Dean?”

Dean reached out and Cas went to him, hugging him and pulling his head down to pet his hair. “What happened?”

“Chuck happened,” Dean mumbled. “Came to the shop...wants to just meet without lawyers involved.”

“That won’t happen.”

“He threatened Meg’s job.”

Cas hissed. “He can’t…”

“Nothing would come of it, but even being investigated…”

“...yeah.” Cas clung to Dean tighter. “So...how should we approach this?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said. “I mean...what are we supposed to do, invite him over for tea?”

Cas pulled back, puzzled. “You hate tea.”

Dean half-smiled. “You know what I mean.”

Cas leaned on the wall, thinking. “Not here,” he said. “I don’t want him in the house...but maybe at Meg’s, if she’ll let us.”

“Okay...just you and me?”

“No, we bring Sam. I’m not budging on that...besides, you should have an ally of your own.”

“Okay. When?”

“Friday night...the girls were planning to go to Krissy’s for an essay-writing party on their summer reading.”

Dean snorted. “Essay-writing party? That’s a thing?”

“Apparently...though they’re more likely going to paint their nails and talk about boys.”

“Eh, they’re kids and they have three months to finish it.”

“Exactly. So we’ll have the evening free.” Cas rubbed his temples. “I had planned to spend it with Netflix and a bottle of cider, but…”

“Family drama works too...and if we can deal with it quickly, there will still be time for Netflix after.”

“Dean, after dealing with my dad, I will not have the energy to do anything except take some of Meg’s alternative medicine and pass out.”

“That works too...I’ll take the girls out on Saturday.”

“Okay.” Cas kissed Dean. “I’ll go call Meg...get this all arranged.”

“Okay.” Dean pulled Cas in and kissed him again. “I love you. So much.”

Cas closed his eyes, forcing back tears. “I love you too.”


	7. Chapter 7

Meg was not happy. Which was very obvious when she came storming into the garden on Thursday. Dean and Cas were out working together; Bobby had agreed to let Dean off work until after they met with Chuck.

“Morning, Meg,” Cas said, not even pausing in the weeding.

“You two are idiots,” she said.

“Yeah, what else is new?” Dean asked. “Oh, and you’re welcome.”

“I’m not thanking you for bringing your bullshit into my house, Dean.”

“Technically, it’s my house,” Cas said. “You just pay the mortgage in lieu of rent.”

“I’m the one who lives there and it’s not like you do maintenance.”

“Dean does. And you already agreed.”

“Again, you’re welcome,” Dean added.

“You could have, you know, asked what I wanted to do about my own career instead of making dumb plans like this.”

Cas sighed. “Look, Meg. This meeting was going to happen one way or another. The only difference is that it’s happening on our turf instead of a law office.”

“And you were always invited to this meeting,” Dean added. “For emotional support since I’ll be too busy swearing.”

“I hadn’t agreed to come.”

“You were going to,” Cas said.

“Was I?”

“Yes,” Dean and Cas said together.

“Meg, please,” Cas added. “This is hard enough as it is...I need you on my side.”

She did soften. “I am on your side,” she said. “Which is why I agreed. But Cas...I can’t keep watching you hurt yourself like this.”

Cas stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. “This is the last time,” he said. “I promise. Once this is done...I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid him again.”

“You said that last time,” Meg said. “After Jimmy...and then you ended up running and leaving me to clean up after you.”

“Meg…”

“Cas, you’re the only person in this world I still give a shit about. Please just...stop making me do this. Because if you do, I won’t still be here. I can’t still be here if I have to watch it again.”

Cas looked at her a long time, then nodded. “I understand.”

“Good.” Meg pulled Cas into a hug. “I’ve not asked Crowley to leave tomorrow.”

“Well, then,” Dean said. “Least we got that going for us.”

*

Cas tried not to let his anxiety show the next day. He got up, went about his life as usual. He spent most of it in the garden, not working so much as avoiding Claire. Of course, she knew something was wrong; Cas could hear her arguing with Dean about it. He tried not to listen, but Claire had a way of making herself heard.

“I just want to know what’s going on!” Claire’s voice was clear through the open door. “Uncle Dean, he’s a wreck, and I want to help!”

“I know, Claire, but this is something we have to do ourselves. And our first priority is keeping you safe.”

“Safe from what? A bunch of assholes who got their talking points from the 1950s?” Cas could hear Claire rolling her eyes. “Yeah, sounds real dangerous.”

“Your father kept you away from them for a reason.”

“My father is dead. And he said he’d tell me eventually.”

“Yeah, maybe. But like you said, he’s not here. So until you turn eighteen, me and Cas are going to do everything we can to keep you out of this mess.”

“This is my family, too! You really think that they’re going to leave me alone just because you agreed to talk to them?”

“Look, this is what we got. We take it one day at a time, and once we’ve gotten through today, we’ll work out what to do next.”

“Assuming you both get through today.” Cas could feel Claire’s eyes on him. “I’ve never seen him this tense...if he goes through with this, he’s going to have a heart attack before the day’s out.”

“If he doesn’t go through with this, we’re going to spend our whole lives hiding. And maybe that’s all right for you, but I can’t do that.”

“It’s not all right! Right now, I’m hiding and you’re going to get into trouble and Cas will get hurt.”

“Cas will be fine. I’m going, Sam’s going, and it’s Meg’s house so we have that bucket of crazy on our side.”

“Oh, yeah, great plan. Lock all the crazy in one room and let them rip each other apart. And who comes out alive in all that?”

“Relax. Meg will make sure Cas makes it out. And Sam will make sure I make it out. And I get the sense that Meg’s weird uncle can take care of himself.”

“I get the sense that Meg’s weird uncle will be doing most of the fighting.”

“Exactly. So we’re fine. You just go to the Chambers, do your Lord of the Flies essay. You’re starting high school this year, you have enough on your plate.”

“And you don’t?”

“I’m a grownup. I don’t have homework and I can take as much time as I need off.”

“Yeah, sure. And you’re the picture of mental health and sanity.”

“Damn straight I am. Now go get your books, they’ll be here soon.”

Cas turned back to his flowers, pretending he hadn’t been listening. He just waited and sure enough, Dean came out a minute later.

“You ready?”

“No.” Cas leaned back on Dean, letting himself be held. “But it’s what has to happen, isn’t it.”

“Yeah.” Dean kissed his cheek. “Whatever happens tonight...I love you. And I will always love you.”

“I know.” Cas closed his eyes. “Thank you.”

*

Dean did not feel great about this. He especially didn’t feel great about doing this in Meg’s kitchen, a place where Dean had a lot of happy memories around Cas. He didn’t want those memories tainted.

It didn’t help that Cas was clearly not okay. He was sitting very close to Dean, clinging to his hand. Dean kept rubbing circles on the back, just waiting. Meg drifted about making coffee and tea, rather louder than Dean thought was necessary. 

“Crowley around?” Dean asked as casually as he could. He hadn’t seen Crowley since the disastrous night at the bar and wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to.

“He went out,” Meg said. “Something about getting popcorn for the show...or maybe buying a popcorn franchise to take back to England. He tends to cloud his meanings with things.”

“That must make for fun Christmas dinners.”

Meg snorted. “I think the last time my family had a Christmas dinner, I was twelve, Crowley and my dad set half the kitchen on fire, my grandmother and great-aunt definitely stabbed each other at least twice, and Crowley’s hellspawn cut a four-inch chunk out of my hair.”

“Wait, Crowley has a kid?”

“Gavin...he lives with Rowena in Scotland.” Meg half-smiled. “It was fun, yeah...but hard to do when half the family lives across the pond and everyone wants to murder everyone else.”

“And that’s fun for you?”

“No delusions,” Meg said. “No pretending we’re a happy, loving family. No attempting to reconcile everything. We all hate each other and we don’t apologize for it. And it made it easy to make a clean break from them.”

“Lucky you,” Dean muttered.

They were silent for a long minute before Dean heard a car pull up and the doorbell ring. He stiffened and Cas’s hand became a vice on his as Meg went to answer the door.

To Dean’s surprise, it wasn’t Chuck who came in, but John. Dean’s brow furrowed. “Don’t remember inviting you,” he said.

“I saw Baby outside,” John said. “And I’m leaving town tomorrow so I thought I’d just...come say goodbye.”

“Why?”

“Dean…” John sighed heavily. “You know I just want to look out for you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Cas said, rather unexpectedly.

John blinked. “I…”

“If you want to apologize, you’ll have to save it,” Dean said. “This is kind of a bad time for…”

The sound of more cars arriving cut Dean off. Meg gave him a quelling look and went to open the door. John glanced around the kitchen. “Party?” he asked.

“Not exactly,” Dean said as Sam came into the room, followed by Chuck and another man, presumably Chuck’s lawyer. Meg slipped in just behind them.

Chuck put on a smile when he appeared, in spite of Cas tensing so much that Dean was getting muscled spasms just watching him. “Castiel,” he said.

“Father,” Cas said shortly.

“You remember Marv, my attorney?”

“Yes.” Cas didn’t say anything else.

“Marv, this is Dean Winchester,” Chuck continued. “And…” He trailed off, looking at John.

“I’m Dean’s father,” John said. “John.” He looked at Chuck, frowning.

“And that’s Meg,” Chuck finished. “Who is very gracious to host us.”

“More like didn’t get a choice,” Meg said. “Coffee? Tea?”

There was a bit of awkwardness as Meg passed around mugs. Dean and John both looked longingly at the bottle of whiskey on top of the fridge but didn’t say a word about it. Meg finally sat down on Cas’s other side, clearly intent on protecting him as much as Dean was.

“Well, this is cosy,” Chuck said. “Nice. To sit down with family.”

“Get to the point,” Dean snapped. He could already feel a headache building behind his eyes at having John and Chuck in the same room as him.

Chuck nodded to Marv, who pulled a stack of papers from his briefcase. “As you probably remember, when James and Amelia Novak died, there was a will stating that their daughter Claire was to be put into the care of James’s brother Castiel,” he said. “However, before anyone could dispute this will, Castiel took it upon himself to relocate Claire out of the state.”

“As her legal guardian, he had every right to,” Sam said. “James didn’t specify that Cas had to raise her in Omaha, just that he raise her away from the rest of the family.”

“Is that what all this is about?” Cas asked. His voice was raspier than normal, not helped by the coffee Meg had given him. “You want to take Claire?”

“I don’t want to take her away from you,” Chuck said. “But you have to admit, you’re not exactly…”

They were interrupted by the door opening again and Crowley walking in. The conversation broke off as everyone turned to look at him, maybe a bit annoyed. He didn’t seem to notice as he sat down in the spare chair in the corner.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” Crowley said. “I just happen to be staying here...please, continue your no doubt very important meeting...Meg, darling, glass of Scotch?”

“Yes, but this is rather a family matter,” Marv said. “So if you don’t mind…”

“He stays,” Meg said as she got up and poured the whiskey.

“Miss Masters, you’re lucky we’re letting you be here…”

“It’s my house,” Meg said. “And he stays.”

Cas nodded and Marv sighed, having no choice but to accept it.

“What were you saying about Cas?” Sam said, clearly trying to get the conversation back on track.

“I was just saying that a man with Castiel’s difficulties is going to have a lot of problems raising a teenage girl,” Chuck said.

“Is that so?” Sam didn’t look impressed. “I checked with social services back in Omaha. They felt that Cas is a perfectly adequate guardian, and the caseworker here has no complaints. Cas has been taking care of Claire for over a year and there have been no problems. I fail to see how Cas isn’t the best person to care for her.”

“You would think that,” Marv said. “But need I remind you that your client is also your brother’s partner...you have a very biased view of the matter. And that’s setting aside if it’s right for girls to be raised by…”

“You want an unbiased perspective?” John said suddenly. “Fine, I’ll give you one. I haven’t been around much, and I know how screwed up my family is. When I’ve seen Claire, she always looks healthy and happy. Cas has done a great job with her...which is shocking, since his help with it is Dean.”

Dean flinched, but didn’t say anything. Sam leveled a glare at John. “We aren’t discussing Dean,” Sam said.

“Maybe we should,” Marv said. “He is also part of Claire’s upbringing. And I have to say, Dean, it’s quite a rap sheet.”

“From ten years ago,” Sam said. “And there were no felony convictions.”

“And how’s the sobriety going?” Marv asked. “I did hear there was an incident recently.”

Dean shifted a bit. He knew that he had fucked up his life, but to think he’d screwed up with Cas’s life as well…

“There were no complaints made,” Sam repeated. “And if there were any problems in the household, they were resolved privately. Dean has raised his own daughter for twelve years and social services have never gotten involved.”

“Should they?” Marv shot back.

“Again, we aren’t discussing Dean,” Sam said. “We’re discussing Cas. And unless you can bring proof that Cas is inadequate as a guardian, you’re not getting anywhere with the courts.”

“And even if you bring evidence, Claire won’t be given over to you,” Crowley said from the corner. Everyone turned to look at him.

“As her grandfather, Chuck is…”

“A complete bag of dicks,” Crowley finished. “I’m sure that the courts would love to see the files on his last custody battle.” Crowley swirled the whiskey in his glass a moment, either thinking or being dramatic, Dean wasn’t sure which. “As I recall, Balthazar Novak was removed from his care due to abuse and neglect...abuse and neglect I’m sure Castiel would be happy to talk about with a judge.”

“I thought we weren’t bringing up past transgressions,” Marv said. “Or is that just for Dean Winchester?”

“I thought it was a little more relevant in this case,” Crowley said. “And if we’re talking past transgressions, Castiel is the only person in this discussion who doesn’t have any.” He glanced at Meg. “That I know of, anyway.”

“I’m the bad one in all this,” Meg assured him.

“Castiel is also…”

“Right here.” Cas looked up, eyes blazing. “I’m right here, and I can hear you. I know you think I’m not an adequate guardian because I’m autistic, and gay, and I won’t apologize for either of those things. But I can tell you this--Jimmy didn’t choose me as Claire’s guardian because he thought I’d be a perfect parent. He probably didn’t even expect me to be a good one. But he knew that I love her, and that I will do anything to keep her safe from people like you. So you can bluster all you want, you can question my abilities, and Dean’s, and it won’t make any difference. I will not let you have Claire, and if you try to take her, I will fight you every step of the way.” Cas glared harder, gripping Dean’s hand as though hoping to draw strength from him. “As to everything else you have to say, I’ve already heard it. So you can harass us, you can stalk us, you can threaten us. But I’m not leaving Dean because I love him. And nothing you say, nothing your God says, will ever change that, because I’ve chosen him.”

Dean looked at Cas, openly crying now. “I choose you, too,” he whispered.

Cas managed a smile at Dean, as though everyone else in the room had ceased to exist.

“I think this meeting is over,” Sam said. “Unless you two have a good reason to file a complaint with social services, and you’ll have to go through their office for that. And I’ll tell you, they don’t like having their time wasted.”

“I suggest you leave town,” John added. “Your particular brand of Evangelical bullshit is starting to get old.”

Chuck and Marv stared for a moment before they got up. “Will we hear from you at all?” Chuck asked.

“No,” Cas said. “And if you contact me again, I’ll be happy to take you to court.”

Chuck nodded and finally, thankfully, left the house. As soon as the door closed, Cas slumped back in his chair, clearly exhausted. Dean shifted, wrapping his arm around Cas and pulling him in close. “Okay?” Dean whispered.

Cas just shook his head and cuddled into Dean. Dean wrapped his other arm around him, just keeping him close.

“Think they’ll listen?” John asked.

“Oh, they’ll be back,” Meg said. “Probably with more lawyers and bullshit excuses, but they’ll be back.”

“And we’ll be ready,” Sam added. “Now that I know what they’re after, I know what to start compiling.”

“Well, if I can help…” John began.

“Don’t think you’re getting off easy,” Crowley said. “Sure, you can scare away some fundamentalists, but anyone can do that. It doesn’t excuse your own parenting.”

John turned to glare at him. “I don’t know what you’re implying…”

“I’m not implying anything.” Crowley looked at John, eerily calm. “But it’s amazing what Dean will let slip when you drive him off the wagon.” He glanced over at Dean and Sam, and he looked...almost sad. “Cheap motels...running everywhere, trying to outrun your own grief. Leaving Dean to raise his brother from the age of five...all while breaking him down to nothing. Don’t think I haven’t noticed it.”

“How can you possibly--?”

“I can tell you this, though...Dean has been an excellent father to Emma. Probably because he’s never stopped being one since he was a child.” Crowley stood suddenly. “So I suggest you follow the Asshole Garrison out of town...because I don’t handle things in court.”

John glanced at Dean and Sam, then looked back to Crowley. “Did you just…?”

“You were leaving anyway,” Dean said. “Might as well not get into any fights.”

“I suppose I won’t hear from you, either?”

Dean sighed. “I don’t know, Dad,” he said. “I don’t think I can forgive you yet...maybe not ever.”

John nodded. “I’m sorry for that,” he said. “Sam?”

“No,” Sam said. “No, I’m not forgiving you. I don’t need to.”

“Okay.” John looked down. “I guess I’ll see you next time I’m in town.”

“Sure,” Sam said. “Ten years from now, maybe.”

“Yeah...maybe.” John nodded and left the house.

Sam waited until they heard the car leaving before he looked at Dean. “Are you okay, Dean?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said. He looked down at Cas, still clinging to him, apparently not aware of anything going on around them. “But we’re still here...we’re still together. So...I will be, eventually.”

“Do you want me to take the girls tonight?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Yeah, that’d be good...sorry, just…” He nodded at Cas. “I don’t think he’s going to be up to doing much parenting tonight.”

“You two can stay here for the night,” Meg said. “It will be easier than trying to get him home.”

“Thanks.”

“Mr. Crowley, I’m going to need everything you have on the Balthazar Novak case,” Sam said. “If you don’t mind.”

“Course,” Crowley said. “I can also give you all the records on the boarding school Chuck sent Castiel to...lot of nasty stuff in there.”

Cas made a whimpering noise.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Sam said.

“Why are you doing this?” Dean asked. “I mean, you said you’d help if you liked us, but I don’t know why you do.”

Crowley considered him for a moment. “Honestly?” he said. “I’m just hoping to get in your pants.”

“Yeah, not happening.” Dean smirked a bit. “I’ve got better right here.”

“Shame. Let me know if you change your mind.” Crowley stood up and set his tumbler on the counter. “But thank you for a very entertaining evening.”

“Sure.”

Crowley nodded to the room and headed upstairs. Meg rolled her eyes. “Dick,” she muttered.

“He is being helpful,” Sam said.

“You heard him...he wants something out of it.”

“Well, he’s not getting it,” Dean said. “So I don’t know why he’s bothering.”

“Because that’s not what he actually wants.” Meg stared up the stairs, considering. “But since you didn’t take his immediate offer, I’m guessing he’ll be hanging around for a while.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Sam asked.

“For you? Probably not. For me? Extremely.” Meg sighed. “Still. Deal with that later...you should get Cas to bed.”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Cas? Can you let go of me for a second?”

It took some coaxing to get Cas to uncurl from Dean’s embrace enough to stand, and then a lot of doing to get him up the stairs to the spare bedroom. As soon as the door closed, Cas was clinging to Dean again, and this time he was sobbing.

“Hey.” Dean hugged Cas, petting his hair. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Cas didn’t respond, just cried into Dean’s shoulder. Dean couldn’t do anything but hold him, speaking soothing words. He managed to back up enough to get them on the bed, lying down with Cas on top of him. It took a very long time for Cas to stop crying, and even then he didn’t speak, just clung to Dean more. Dean turned his head down and kissed Cas’s forehead.

Finally, Cas managed to loosen his grip. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?” Dean tilted Cas’s chin up to look at him. “Cas, you were amazing back there...you stood up to Chuck and we won...he’s going to leave. We can get back to normal...at least for a while.”

“But…”

“No one’s hurt,” Dean said. “We’re all safe. Sam will take care of the girls, and I’ll take care of you.”

“What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

Cas gave him a pointed look. “Your father was here, unexpectedly, and he wasn’t being very nice to you.”

“And Crowley dealt with him. I’m fine.”

“Dean…”

“Hey.” Dean leaned up and kissed him. “You’ve had a harder night than I have...we’ll worry about me tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

They kissed again and Dean reached up, pulling Cas’s tie off. “Come on,” he said. “We should sleep now...we’ll figure the rest out later.”

“Yes...later.” Cas let Dean get him out of his tie, shirt and shoes before he curled up on him again. “Much, much later.”

*

And then...life went back to normal.

Cas was surprised that Chuck actually upheld his end of the bargain, but apparently the threats of being taken to court were enough. The next week, Dean and Cas went to the farmer’s market as usual and didn’t see a single Metatron Tablet member anywhere. And just like that, everyone was suddenly fine with Dean and Cas again. So okay that they sold out of honey in only three hours.

“You think they’re trying to be nice to us cause they’re sorry?” Dean asked when they got home.

“No,” Cas said. “I think they want to pretend they never did anything wrong. Hard to keep justifying harassment when the fearless leader turns and runs.”

“I guess.” Dean shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, really...everything’s back to normal.”

“Yes.” Cas looked a bit nervous. Dean didn’t know why; nothing bad had happened in over a week. In fact, everything was so normal that the idea of letting Emma and Claire go to the mall with their friends and minimal adult supervision didn’t seem that bad anymore.

“Something wrong?” Dean asked.

Cas took a deep breath. “I...I feel like I need...something,” he said.

“O...kay…” Dean was puzzled; what more could Cas possibly need?

The answer became clear very quickly when Cas moved right into Dean’s personal space and kissed him. “Girls will be gone all day,” Cas said. “I thought we might...try again.”

Dean understood at once. “You sure?”

“Dean. Everything that’s happened...I need to try again. I need to have something good.” Cas nuzzled at Dean’s neck a bit. “And...if I can stand up to my father, I can do this. I don’t want to be afraid, or ashamed. So...show me how not to be.”

Dean gathered Cas in his arms and kissed him thoroughly. “I’ll try,” he said. “But if you ever do feel scared, stop me.”

“I will.”

They kissed in the hall again before Dean pulled Cas to the bedroom. Then it was all fumbling hands, clumsily trying to get clothes off, unable to stop kissing for even a moment. Cas made a frustrated noise and pulled away from Dean. “Slow down,” he gasped.

Dean stepped back. “Okay.” He looked Cas over, licking his lips. “Why don’t you undress and lie down?”

Cas nodded, slowly. “Okay.” He had turn away from Dean to strip, moving slow. He didn’t know why he was nervous; he’d been sharing a bed with Dean for a year, and they’d gotten to second base plenty of times. Still, this was different. This time…

“We don’t have to do everything,” Dean said, as though reading Cas’s thoughts. “Let’s just focus on making you feel good, okay?”

“Okay.” Cas finished undressing, but didn’t turn around. “I...I just hope.”

“Hey.” Dean moved closer and put his hands on Cas’s hips and kissed his shoulder. “It’s as much or as little as you want, okay? We can stop any time you want.”

Cas nodded and leaned back on Dean. Even like this, bared before his lover, he felt safer in Dean’s arms than he had anywhere else. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and kissed his neck, gentle but electrifying, arousal shooting up and down Cas’s spine. Cas closed his eyes and breathed, just letting Dean hold him. Dean’s hands wandered over Cas’s chest, but stayed above the waist. Cas couldn’t help the breathy little moan that escaped as Dean’s hands brushed over his skin.

“You good?” Dean asked.

“Very good.”

“You want to lie down, or just stay here?”

Cas took a breath and pulled himself away from Dean. Finally, he turned, letting Dean see him for a moment before he went to the bed and lay down.

Dean approached slowly, as though he were admiring Cas’s form. Cas felt himself blushing, his nerves increasing the more Dean looked at him. “I know I’m not…” Cas began.

“You’re beautiful,” Dean said, and he sounded like he meant it. “So beautiful, Cas.”

Cas closed his eyes, forcing back tears. “Dean…”

“I mean it.” Dean kissed him, so tender, and it broke Cas’s heart to feel this loved. “You okay if I undress too?”

“Please.”

Cas opened his eyes, watching Dean as the flannel hit the floor. Dean grinned at him, stripping slowly, clearly putting on a show. Cas swallowed, forcing down all the negative feelings that had been ingrained in him. That was over; he was here with Dean, and Dean…

If Dean thought Cas was beautiful, Cas thought Dean must be some sort of god. All tan, lean muscle, but with just a bit of softness over him. The tattoos on his chest, arm and shoulder stood out bright on his skin, small pieces that brought the artwork that was Dean to life. Cas swallowed heavily, letting his eyes move down over Dean. All beautiful. All Dean Winchester. Cas couldn’t believe that someone this beautiful would want to be with him.

Dean came back to the bed and sat down next to Cas. “Still okay?”

In answer, Cas reached up and dragged Dean down to kiss again. Dean shifted, lay down over Cas, their bodies meeting completely, and Cas moaned again, feeling the press and the warmth. All that, only from one touch?

“Shh.” Dean kissed down Cas’s neck again, nipping a bit. “We have time, baby...and I want to enjoy it.”

Cas managed a nod. “Just…”

“Just what?”

“More?”

“Okay.” Dean kissed his lips. “You okay with below the belt?”

Cas swallowed and nodded. “I want to reclaim it.”

“Okay.” Dean shifted back so he was lying between Cas’s legs. It started with kisses up his thighs, gentle, almost tasting. Cas shuddered; no one had ever touched there and he hadn’t realized how sensitive he was. Dean noticed and smirked before teeth sank into the flesh at the highest part of Cas’s thigh. Cas cried out, sparks flying up his body. He was more alive, more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. Not that there was much competition for that, but he had no idea…

Dean bit the other thigh in the same spot, sucking a mark there. Cas twitched, trying to figure out what to do with his hands, if he should hold still or bury them in Dean’s hair, if he should be doing anything besides lying there for Dean to use.

Dean reached up and took Cas’s hand. That was better. Cas curled his fingers with Dean’s, letting the familiar feel of all of Dean’s scars and callouses ground him. Cas closed his eyes, breathing deeply, while Dean continued biting and sucking marks into his thighs.

“Dean,” Cas breathed. “Please…”

“Please what?”

“More.”

Dean squeezed Cas’s hand. “Brace yourself,” he said.

“What…”

Then Dean’s mouth was on Cas’s...on Cas. Not fully, just at the head, but Dean was mouthing at him, gently, slowly taking more in, his tongue flicking and lips sucking and Cas couldn’t help but cry out. It felt incredible, the best thing Cas had ever felt, almost enough to wipe away the memories entirely. Cas thrust his hips up involuntarily, but Dean just moved with him, taking more and moaning around Cas like he was enjoying this even more.

Cas didn’t know what to do. Oh, he knew about this sort of thing, in theory, but to actually be here, feeling it, with the man he loved...it was almost too much to take, enough that Cas thought his heart was going to burst at any moment and wake him up from this beautiful dream.

It didn’t take long before Cas felt it, the build, the climax, and then he shattered, screaming out as he came in Dean’s mouth, unable to so much as give a warning. Dean swallowed around him without complaint, his eyes locked on Cas’s face. Cas shook for a moment before he fell back on the bed, shivering a bit.

“Cas?”

It took him a moment to open his eyes and gaze down, his vision a bit fuzzy. Dean was looking at him in concern, but with so much love that Cas might have orgasmed again just from knowing that.

“...sorry,” Cas finally gasped. “I know that was...embarrassingly short, but…”

Dean leaned up and kissed him quiet. “Cas, I think that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“But…” Cas suddenly realized he was crying, tears sliding down his face, with no way to stop them

“That was your first one, right?” Dean petted Cas’s hair, smiling and kissing away the tears. “Knowing I gave you that...that’s awesome.”

Cas nodded, dazed. “It was...more than anything I’ve ever felt.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Cas leaned up and kissed Dean. “Can I...return it?”

Dean considered him. “If you want,” he said. “But you seem pretty wiped.”

“I want to see.”

“Okay...tell you what.” Dean shifted them so he was laying fully on top of Cas again. “You just lie there a bit?”

Cas nodded and relaxed. Dean started making out with him again, hands everywhere, and now Cas was touching back, feeling Dean’s chest and back. Dean kissed and bit down his chest, seemingly unable to pull away from him for a moment.

“Dean…” Cas breathed.

“Shh.” Another kiss, and Dean’s hips were moving, thrusting against Cas. Cas gasped, pulling Dean closer. Dean kissed him again and again, moving faster. Cas could do nothing but kiss back, press closer to Dean, hands burning on Dean’s back.

It didn’t take much time for Dean to cum as well, burning liquid spattering on Cas’s stomach. Dean collapsed, kissing Cas again. Cas held him, and it wasn’t just love, wasn’t just ecstasy. It was revelation. It was salvation.

“Okay?” Dean whispered.

“Yes.” Cas kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him again. Dean kissed back before he finally laid down completely, laying his head on Cas’s shoulder. Cas held onto Dean, breathing deeply.

Dean kissed Cas’s chest, over his heart. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Cas petted Dean’s hair for a moment. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“This...giving me my body back. Giving me my life again.”

“Cas…”

“I mean it.” Cas kissed him again.

“Then we can tell the world,” Dean said. “Spread the word, far and wide...Castiel Novak has been saved.” 


End file.
